Tuesday, October 27, 2015

He doesn't Take me to His Lodge!

Hello Anty Amara please I need your help am so confused, I don't know what to do. 
Am 26 years old, graduate and am in a relationship for four years now with a guy of 35 years, he is caring, loving, understanding, hardworking...
He is known by my Mum and siblings, he visits me at home but anytime I visit him he does not take me to his house he either lodges me in a hotel or a friend's place. 
I insisted several times but he refused me saying his house is not fine that I won't be comfortable and his sister stays with him, till now I don't know his house or any member of his family and he has a daughter out of wedlock. 
Last month when he visited he told me that his family wanted him to get married to the mother of his child but he refused. 
He said he loves me so much and don't want to lose me. When my mum asked me about him I couldn't tell her about the child and I lied that he is a graduate and  he is not because I knew my mum won't approve him for me. 
He works and earn less than fifty thousand naira monthly, he doesn't have any savings. I love him so much but sometimes I feel love is not just enough. 
Aunty am confused should I continue with the relationship? What should I do?

Beautiful lady, why did you choose to lie and deceive your own mother all because you were afraid of her opinion and views about your personality? 
When you said that you loved him, what did you really imply when you couldn't even present the man God has given to you to your mum but chose to manufacture a fake of the man in your life? 
Trust me, if you tell lies of his identity, you are simply pitying him and not in love with him at all. 
When you love an individual, you identify with him, you accept him for who he is, you believe in his personality and give your heart to his vision. 
If you don't share any of those, dear you need to take ten steps backwards and study what love and loving truly entails. 
If your partner lodges you in a friend's house and in the hotel, it's a simple indication that there's something he's hiding from you and that he's not telling you the truth. 
In fact, when a man is in love with you, he would not treat you like a prostitute, lodge, use and discharge but will take you home even if it's a terrible place to be and plead for your support and encouragement. 
Just like you, he's fake and I have no idea if your relationship has any foundation or future though you have been with him for four years.
And for him to start telling you what his family said perhaps could be an indication that he might be living with her already though he will never open up to you. 
I think you need to sort some stuff out and tell yourself the truth. I mean without the truth, how can you say that you know him really and how do you hope to grow in love with him when he lodges you in a hotel and steal you out of the hotel back to your village. 
I am not comfortable with such a horrible arrangements and if he cannot show you where he sleeps, such a person shouldn't be taken seriously. 

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