Thursday, October 29, 2015

Is Marriage Just to Condemn Women?

Aunty Amy good day. Thanks for your works. Please I need your advice on this:
I have been married for three years plus with two kids, but my problem is that I have never done anything right as far as my husband is concerned.
Even the things we discussed and agreed on during courtship, immediately after wedding he started objecting to them like dressing.
I wear trousers, he started complaining I was like that won't stop me from staying married, I dropped it, he started with kneel length skirts and I went for the ones that were slightly below my knees. Now he's insisting that all my wears must be three quarters and personally I don't like them considering my height(very tall), also his new Church doesn't allow jewellery, make ups nor attachment etc.
I have become the opposite of who I used to be, can't even stand my classmates cos of my new look. Everything I do he always have a better way of doing it to prove I don't know how to do anything.
Please I need your advice cos it seems marriage is just to condemn the woman.

Beautiful, if marriage was to condemn women, trust me God would have devised a means of using men to fulfil his purpose on earth but women are priceless whether in marriage or other facet of human endeavours. 
From nurturing home to enhancing the standards of living women have sacrificed her all to build a better society so please stop feeling bitter and weak because there is more than what you think men think of women. 
The real challenge is that your husband want to transform you into a religious woman and you want to fit into the class of your friends. 
You are not on the right lane nor can he achieve his enterprise because the foundation is built on comparison and not complimenting one another and creating a home where every individual appreciates one another and not to compare or to intimidate the other. 
Sweetheart, you are married and the way you dress reflects not only your image but the image of your home and your husband. 
Some men do not fancy their wives displaying the things they cherish in the public and some men feel insecure with public admiration so they strive to make sure you are religious in your dressing to avoid so many advances. 
While you may need to dress to compliment yourself, please consider his emotions and find out reasons why he suddenly feels that dressing in such a manner will make you a better wife than when you look trendy and beautiful. 
Make no assumptions especially when he decides to do things yourself, appreciate him for his kind contribution to house chores. Be calm with whatever decision he makes and even when he makes mockery of your efforts, kindly say thank you and possibly discuss that later with him on what he prefers. 
Three years is too young for ill feelings and competition in your home. 
Look into your home and spice things up, be humble to learn and take your time to adjust to the personality of your husband because the courtship and dating phase of your life is over, nor is the reality phase of your marriage and your husband. 
A man can promise you heaven to have you under his roof, only then you can tell what his haven looks like and unfortunately then you may not have the freedom as you did earlier. 
Please cheer up, what you are experiencing isn't peculiar to your marriage alone as many handsome men end up with some funny attitude immediately after they promised to do what they knew they couldn't do.. Lol 

1 comment:

  1. Ur husband accepted these things when u were dating. Why is he refusing them now?? He just wants to control u. Some men agree to certain things during courtship only to turn against them when married. They feel they own the woman now and she must agree to whatever he wants. I will not stop dressing the way I like cus of any man. If his church bans makeup and attachments, find urself a new church. Must u attend the same church as him?? Please!!!


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