Sunday, October 18, 2015

Scared of Another Mistake

Gooday Mrs.VanLare...God bless your home...please I ll like you to hide my I'd,I really need your own advice and that of your a young divorcee of 30years,I really want to know how a woman can know who the right man is for her,I'm asking because you have had that experience,I am really scared of men right now because I don't want to make another mistake again the way,the foundation of my first marriage was built on lies,I later found out bad things about my ex husband that made me fall sick,I'm scared of entering another relationship and I'm scared of commitment,as I am a young person I know I can't remain single forever,please advice me on how to know a real man....thank you...

Dear Sender,
That you failed doesn't mean you have to remain on the ground. Just like you, I failed, but instead of remaining where I failed, I got up, picked up the lessons, and continued running.
Avoiding a relationship because you failed only makes you a failure.

Now, as a divorcee, you should be able to have a talk with yourself. Find out why and where you failed and decide to get it right this time around. You have to put your eyes down and prayerfully make a choice. In your carefulness, don't forget that even if you date him for ten years, you can never know that person until it becomes a 'Mr. and Mrs. relationship'.

I don't know of you are a single mother as well, but if you are, have it in mind that your dating relationship or marriage is no longer about you alone. Your children must be considered above your personal interest. Give yourself answers to these questions
1. Does he love my child/children?
2. If he does, can my children look up to him and see him as a father figure?

I believe in sorting the children out before my selfish interest. Now, let's look at you as a person
1. Are you an asset or a liability to a man?
2. How close are you to God? How involved is God in your life?
3. What is your vision in life?
4. What kind of places do you go to?
5. What kind of men do you meet?
6. What kind of men do you get attracted to?

There's always that sign while we date, but we often ignore it all in the name of 'I love you'. This time around, love without losing your brain where it's needed. Have it in mind that 'I love you' is never enough to sustain any marriage. Character, mutual respect, friendship, trust, and commitment are required.

Don't let fear stop you. You can do it. There are great and wonderful men but you must bury your flesh and let your spirit rule. That wonderful husband may not come in the kind of package you admire. Take your eyes of the wrong things and start looking at the things that matter.

Good luck

1 comment:

  1. Nothing more to add,except to say 'Go and learn what it takes to succeed in marriage'. Failure is just an opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Love does not make marriages work; Wisdom,Knowledge and Understanding does. Get the book,'The New Rules of Love', by Olumide Emmanuel,and others.
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