Monday, October 5, 2015

To Every Childless Couple

My heart goes out to every woman, every married couple out there who is believing God for the fruit of the womb. There is nothing as satisfying as carrying your children and watching them grow. No amount of love and wealth can fill this vacuum in a woman's life.
The African society isn't helping these so called barren women. Once she's not able to have a child, nobody even thinks that the problem could be from the husband. It's worse when she has no male child; a woman is made to believe she is the reason why they have no male child.
The woman is never the reason for the absence of a male child in your family. Stop tormenting your brother's wife; stop torturing your son's wife. The woman has XX Chromosomes while the man has XY Chromosomes. If the man gives his X to the woman, it meets with the woman's X and a girl is born. If the man releases Y, it travels to the woman's X and it's a boy.
And who says a female child is not a child? Which father would trade the likes of Dora Akunyili, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Arunma Oteh, Oby Ezekwesili, and Onyeka Onwenu for a son?
You are blessed with children and instead of you being thankful, you are blaming God for giving you female children. Look into families, it is the female children who do more for their parents. It's sad when women who should protect fellow women are the ones fighting their brother's wife because of a male child.
Women, married couples now have to lie and get involved in crime because they must produce male children. This is why baby factory business is booming in Africa. Even some orphanages we go to donate things are nothing but illegal baby factories. 
A friend once told me how much she hated her sister who operated a baby factory somewhere in Nigeria. This lady came in from the USA just to set up that business. She works in partnership with some licensed medical doctors.
Due to pressure from the society, a woman had to inject herself to feel and look pregnant as she continued wearing some kind of silicone on her stomach and breast areas. At 7 months, she traveled out to have her baby. She had her baby, the seller waited for her at Lagos airport, handed over the baby to her as she boarded another flight to Enugu to meet the husband who was very excited to have a baby. It wasn't long before the baby fell ill and had to be taken to a pediatrician. Before her husband could get one, the woman was able to take the baby to the baby factory doctor who, on seeing that the baby was SS, injected him to death to avoid scandal.
You must have heard about 'Pota Baby'. Yes, we criticize and mock people about that. But are we not the same people pushing women and couples into this lie? A couple, even when they feel like going for adoption, are not free to do so without the wagging tongues of friends and relatives. They go for artificial insemination and In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) only to come telling people that after years of waiting, it miraculously happen. They can't say the truth because the society won't let them say it as it is.
We want people to always lie about their situations all in the name of faith. And the cycle continues, the ignorant and uneducated are left frustrated because of these lies. Even when a pastor's wife conceives through IVF, the pastor is still there lying and deceiving the congregation telling them not to take any step as that would mean them running faster than God.
What is Amara saying? What she is not saying is that miracles are not possible. Miracles are possible, but a good number of us lie in the name of faith and testimonies. And what makes you think God is not behind IVF? It's miracle given to you by God through medical intervention. Don't let anyone make you feel less of yourself because of IVF. IF fails and so if that's not what God wants for you, it will fail. 
All over Africa, Nigeria and South Africa especially, there are fertility clinics; please take advantage of them. If you are younger, all you need could be just the insemination which I know costs just about $2000 in Nigeria. How do I know? I know because my friend used one and now she has her kids. I  bless God for this my friend because, unlike many others, she personally told friends and encouraged them to go for it. There is nothing wrong about IVF, it's still your egg and your husband's sperm. Don't let some religiously blind folks keep you in bondage.
And if you are so much interested in having that male child, sex selection is real if you have the money for it.
Pray, believe God for miracles but be open to whatever medium He wants to use for your prayer to be answered. You must not go for IVF, but make sure you have done everything you are required to do medically while you wait on God.

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