Monday, November 9, 2015

He Accused me of Sleeping with a Revd. Father!

Good evening Amara,
God bless you and your fans for all the great advises.

I am 30 years old and I have never slept with a guy before(very embarrassing, but it is important I mention it for a reason you will soon find out). I met a guy early this year through my dad who was a friend to the guy's dad. Initially I wasn't interested in this guy because he was living abroad and I have heard many negative stories about 'janded' guys.
After we met, he went back to his base and we started chatting once in a while. After two months, he became so serious and was calling me twice a day. He was so interested in my welfare and career and my heart melted, I let him in.
My dad was happy, my mom wasn't- she didn't like the guy. She felt that for the guy to be okay financially and yet unmarried at his age (38), something had to be wrong. She was also prejudiced against 'janded' guys.

I begged her to let it be and she did though occasionally she will drop hints on how the guy is not to be trusted. For the first time in my life, I did not listen to mama, I had the support of my dad. The guy arranged for me to come and visit him but I was denied Visa. That was not a problem for both of us since he promised to come back in December.

Well tragedy came knocking on my happy door towards the end of September. He sent me a midnight chat asking me if I knew one Rev. Fr. Joyce, I told him no, he asked me if I knew a Rev Sr. Joyce, I said no and added jokingly that how come the two people are bearing my name.
I asked him to tell me who they were? And he infuriatingly told me that it was obvious I knew them. I was confused and sad but I let it slide. The next day I was piqued at his attitude so I didn't call nor text him and he did nothing neither. I called him after two days and he didn't pick up, I sent him a text and he called back and I begged that he should tell me what was going on.
He informed me that someone he trusts told him that she heard two people discussing about me and how I slept with a Rev. Fr. to the extent the priest was nicknamed my name. To say I was hurt was an understatement. My heart constricted that I found it hard to breathe. I didn't not allow him to finish the tale and I ended the call.

I prayed, no I cried out to God that night and after, I thought the whole story through and I became madly angry at him, I sat down and penned my anger to him. I ended my text by telling him to find the next available hell where he and his 'trusted informant' can go to.

In the following days he didn't talk or chat with me. I wanted to let him go but I just had to try for love's sake.

I called and he didn't pick up, and texted him and he responded. I explained that it couldn't have been me and the name his informants supplied was my Facebook name not the name I use in real life.
Even my family and friends remembers the facebook name. It was obvious they just got my name from my fb wall. We started reasoning together on the possible culprit. He said he will investigate and I reminded him calmly that he should have done that first before accusing me falsely.
The next few days all we did was just 'hi hello' texts. And they were mostly initiated by me. I decided to let him be and he has never sent a text nor called since then.

I am hurt because we had planned to get married. He even informed his dad to come and see my dad for the introduction in October.
Well Oct. has passed. I am so hurt that people can sit comfortably and hatch a devilish plan. I just wanted to be vindicated, I don't want to marry him again because he doesn't deserve me. I want his apologies, I deserve it.
I have not told any member of his family about this even though I have been solely tempted to do so)

I am sorry for the so long a letter, I just had to pour my heart out.

Nb: my sweet mama has assumed the 'I told you' posture and my dad, well he is just as angry as I am. They are praying that God will vindicate me and shame the devil. Pray for me too.

Wounded lady.

Contrary to your mum's assumptions, I am of the opinion that your friend was never interested in committing himself to you. 
You may want to know why I said so and here are my reasons (they may not be accurate). 
Whenever there was a misunderstanding, he simply quits communicating with you without even reaching out to you or finding out what could have made you not to have communicated with him. 
You fell in love with him so much that he felt that he could play with your emotions and go scot free with that and guess what, he actually succeeded hence the reason for your anger and disappointment. 
Rev. SR Joyce was a strategy to push you far away from him and simply give you a tag of a bad girl before humiliating you to nothing. 
The truth is, it's possible nobody told him anything but his friends could have given him the idea and it worked perfectly well. 
For him, he was trying to impress his father and his father's friends but was he really happy with you and committed to the relationship? 
Do you think that he was really single over there or he's already enjoying himself with another lady? 
Who was he really and why did you fall in love with him? 
You see, while I don't have any issues with anyone who's living abroad or working there for one reason or another, I am sincerely a down to earth person and as such isn't fascinated by things that are in the air but by the things I can touch and relate to irrespective of how little they maybe. 
It's not embarrassing that you have not had sex before, it only shows the level of disciplined and focused you are in life and how you desire what is enduring and fulfilling in your relationship. 
You have shown that truly you are emotionally stable and genuine as a lady and is willing to give your all to build up a relationship. 
Forgive him for his insensitivity and forgive yourself more for deciding to be part of your father's settlement offer which I feel your mother was against. 
Look beyond your present pains and disappointment and embrace the cross and the love of God in your life. 
Forget about him and his offers and let this be behind you. 
Don't share the story not because they are not true but because you are too busy to reduce yourself to gossiping and exchanging words. 
That a man rejected you doesn't mean that you are ugly or that you do not have a man of your own but it only means that any future with such a man would have been a disaster and that made God to intervene by temporary separating you from him so that he can give you the man that will perfect your joy in life and destiny. 
Be yourself and always use your identity everywhere you go. 
The name you use anywhere matters and you have no idea who is plotting any evil against you using your Facebook name. 
God is not mocked by the selfishness and wickedness of a man's heart and he will perfect that which concerns you in due time in Jesus name I pray amen. 

1 comment:

  1. My dear thank God that you pple haven't fix date for anything yet that guy is not serious he only made up that story to push u alway Period.


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