Sunday, November 29, 2015

He Gives Me Reasons to Doubt His Love!

Good evening aunty Amara.. Am happy for you for the good work you are doing here, because you are really inspiring..
Please help me out like you have been helping others.
Am emotionally sick right now, and needs help.
Am in a long distance relationship which is giving me headache most times. My relationship is just one year and five months. We were very good friends for close to two years before we took it to the next level. All through those years of friendship, he never stopped telling me that he loves me even when I warned him to stop saying those deceitful words to me, yet he kept on.
To say I never felt anything for him then was a big lie, because I knew within me that I loved him, but was just pretending. Now that we are lovers, he is very loving, caring, understanding, hardworking, Godfearing.
He's the first child and has a lot to cater for and I don't demand from him, and he's not really comfortable because of not providing for me but I don't complain about that , am a student and a working class lady too. He has introduced me to his mum and even his uncle(he's father is late)
He's someone that doesn't hesitate in begging me each time he offends me but still adheres to those things that annoys me.
He calls me just once in a while, and complains that his work does not offer him much time, because he works in a brewery company. I will be the one calling and yet he doesn't pick. Everyday I keep sending love text messages to him but he wouldn't reply. I will flash, he wouldn't call. Sometimes I begin to wonder if am distracting him or he's just tired of me.
But I what I don't understand about him is that he does not have time for women, he's not the cheating type. Am his firstlove.
He keeps giving me reasons to doubt his love for me.
And when he finally calls me, and I complain to him why he doesn't call nor pick my calls, then he starts begging me to forgive him, and that I should please bear with him, that he's always busy.
That I should please do not break his heart, that he loves me so much.. If you hear him singing for me, you will pay him to come and sing for you every morning, because his voice is something else.. He calls regularly sometimes, and will eventually stop calling.
Aunty Amara please am just thinking of ending this relationship and remain single,. He comes back only once in a year.
I love him dearly and I don't know if I will be able to cope without him. He's the only guy that knows the song to my heart.
But I just don't know if he's actually fooling away my time. What do I do?

My only worries is who else will sing those songs of your heart should you decide to leave him. Lol I was kidding. 
But then I feel that it's either that the distance is magnifying some minor changes and challenges you are experiencing in your relationship or that he's got another lady who he's singing those beautiful tunes to. 
What I couldn't get from your mail was the nature of his job but one thing I must inform you is that no matter the nature of a man's job, he's never far away from what gives him joy and fulfilment in life.
So if he shares the same passion and vision for the relationship with you, trust me he will make out time, respond to your calls, acknowledge your messages and appreciate your kind gestures, it's called courtesy and there's no excuses for not showing courtesy. 
Well my suggestion would be that you meet with him and discuss your relationship with him. 
This time you should be able to let him know the things that he does which sends a negative vibe to the relationship and makes you doubt his commitment to the relationship. 
Also there will be need for redefinition of the relationship so that you will be informed of the timeline and his vision for the relationship. 
It's just not enough to listen to a love song, it's awesome when he live by his confessions and work towards making them a reality. 
If after your discussion with him, you are not convinced or assured of his love and commitment to the relationship, then you may need to reconsider your purpose for the relationship and take the best decision that will at least save you from many regrets and disappointments. 
In addition to that, please always commit everything to God in prayers and seek for his grace to help you understand some things that you may not be able to explain in your relationship.
One thing that I'm convinced of is that all things work together for our good even when they may not be favourable to us at the moment. 

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