Thursday, November 26, 2015

Marriage Scares Me!

Good day ma, I have been a fan of your page for some months and it's been a whole new experience and I want to thank you for creating such platform because it has touched so many lives across all age groups and gender.
I have an issue that's been causing me lots of tears and I have no one to confide in and I urgently need advice.
I'm 20 currently running a National Diploma program which I would be graduating next year. He is 33 and running his business full time after resigning from where he was employed in December 2014.
Our relationship has been subject to one controversy after the other especially in Church where he holds some key positions. We've had prophecies that he hasn't met his wife more than once, then I decided to call it quits but he said no that he doesn't believe all that so we continued.
He wanted to settle down next year and I'm not sure about myself, I'm still schooling and also about to start sowing training because I believe everyone should have a vocation (I sell foot wares and cosmetics on a small scale in school).
I want to continue my education as far as possible because I want to get into the tertiary education system. It scares me to think of marriage now because I feel inadequate.
I want to earn my own money and not have to wait on a man so I can contribute financially and I can't bear thinking of losing him.
We have set December as deadline to make up our minds, we love each other very much but marriage is a different thing and I don't want to make a mistake.
We've been together for almost two years. Pls help me out. Thank you.

Dear, 
Marriage is not what you rush into with fear or feeling of inadequacy. You have to be emotionally mature, psychologically and spiritually prepared for before you decide on what's best for you and your partner. 
If you feel that the time that you agreed with him isn't sufficient for you to wrap your mind around the thoughts of marriage, please explain your concerns and ask for some time to enable you make up your mind and adequately prepare for the life after getting married. 
I admire your vision and your decision to equip yourself with some skills to help you support him at home. 
However due to his age and his intentions of getting married any time soon, I doubt if he will be willing to give you the time that you need to at least finish your programme. 
This is where you will need to open up to you and express your thoughts and feelings with regards to the marriage plans and your academic pursuit and the skills acquisition. 
You don't need to be afraid or intimidated by his plans because marriage cannot work if you are not spiritually prepared and emotionally ready for the responsibilities that comes with marriage. 
Let him know what you have in mind and find out what his plans for your academics and future is like. 
This will help you figure out whether to let him go or to get married to him. 
You must have this in mind the life doesn't terminate after wedding or marriage and if your husband is genuinely interested in seeing you become a lady of virtue, he will support you in his own capacity and encourage you to further develop yourself and equip yourself with the necessary skills and virtues that you need to prosper in all your endeavours. 
As for the prophesies and counter prophesies that he received from the church, all you owe him is prayers that he gets convictions from God and not from prophets and pastors and if he's not convinced that you are the one for him, then let him be and don't push anything because you need a man who have a personal relationship with God as a husband and not one who rely on the prayers and opinions of pastors and prophets. 
But in my own opinion since you are still afraid of wearing the big shoes of responsibilities in marriage , I will kindly suggest that you request for some time to pray and prepare for marriage before venturing into it. 
If he genuinely loves you, he will not rush you into marriage but wait until you are convinced and comfortable within your Spirit to get married to him. 

4 comments:

  1. Please,go ad get the book,'WAITING AND DATING', by Myles Munroe. It has everything you need now. The fears and the frustrations are absolutely unnecessary. Go and learn! ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

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  2. I am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for over 9 years and we had two kids. thing were going well with us and we where always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treated me and the kids. later that month he did not come back home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he casted on him that make him come back to me. my family and i are now happy again. Thank you Dr. Aluta for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. He cast spells for different purposes

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  3. All these pervs dating little girls though. Nigerian men na wa! 20 year old...you haven't even figured life out. I'm 26 and still trying to make a name for myself. Give yourself time to grow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. All these pervs dating little girls though. Nigerian men na wa! 20 year old...you haven't even figured life out. I'm 26 and still trying to make a name for myself. Give yourself time to grow.

    ReplyDelete

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