Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Friendship in Marriage!

Aunty Amara Good evening,and may God bless your good works,I'll like to get your opinion and that of the house on an issue that's been bothering me about friendship in marriage and what it entails.
On Saturday while I was out talking to some friends,one of the married ladies mentioned how important it was to be your spouse's best friend;I smiled until she said in QUOTE
"I and my husband are best friends to the extent that he slept with my friend while I was at work and called me to tell me(padi me I just banged your friend who came to seduce me in the house oh)"
I was shocked and kept looking at her with my mouth wide open as she opened her teeth smiling,saying her friend is now in the list of girls her husband has used and dumped. She said that's how open and free her relationship was with her husband and it has kept her happy in the marriage.
At the end of my conversation with this lady I kept wondering if this was what true friendship in marriage entails. Because I see some women crying their eyes out for their husband's infidelity but here is another woman feeling comfortable and happy with the same mess...
What is your opinion on this please; am still single and looking forward to getting married soon by the Grace of God.
Been trying to understand some things about marriage and how it should be handled until I heard this one that kept me off balance.

Friendship with your spouse means freedom to express yourself in the manner in which your spouse does not need to investigate whether what you said was true or not and friendship with your spouse also means being open to the extent that the volume of sweat that comes out of your skin is not a secret to your partner not to talk about finances and affiliations we may have on the course of our journey in life. 
Most times, the real challenge of many couples is that there is no friendship in their marriage, the husband has rules and regulations of engagement with his wife and the wife has sacred secrets that the husband must not know and they live hiding one information from the other. 
They receive one form of information and their spouse has no right to learn about that and they have secret passwords for everything from their boxers to their panties. 
I doubt if your friend told you how he felt on that day and what she did when she got home from work but one thing that she said which you must consider in your relationship was that his husband didn't wait for his wife to investigate what happened and the husband knew that he owed his wife the truth about his sexual activities whether the wife was around or not. 
He understood that he was accountable to his wife and that he cannot keep the secrets of his own weaknesses from his wife and that would have helped his wife to find out ways to strengthen their marriage and help her husband to remain faithful to their vows. 
Friendship in your marriage can be likened to being naked to your partner and not being ashamed. 
Many marriages have collapsed because partners only consider being naked during lovemaking and then clothing up their secrets after sex. 
Some consider nakedness when they want to manipulate the other while some swim in the ocean of lies, deception and manipulation and this has destroyed many homes. 
While nobody will commend the husband for cheating on his wife no matter the reasons and the excuses he may have to give, it takes great maturity, wisdom and understanding for a husband to confess his sins before his wife and possibly seek for her forgiveness and support. 
If many partners got married to their friends, there won't be any need for competition in their home because everything belongs to all, there won't be any need for fighting and abuse because everyone respects the personality of the other and there won't be any need to clothe up secrets from the other because they have one vision, one ministry and one purpose in their marriage and that is to represent Jesus Christ in all their endeavours on earth. 
So tell me, wouldn't you love to marry your friend? 


  1. Don't get it twisted..
    Your friend and her huaband are just two singles who live together in deceit that they're couples and best friends who feel nothing whatsoever for eachother with no matital goals and objectives..
    Forget that trash..do not be decieved
    They both sleep around..
    No faithful woman will smile when she realises that her husband just laid her friend..
    Friendship without conscience...

  2. You are correct. No couple in his or her sane mind would tolerate infidelity, unless both are into infidelity together.

  3. U should knw that people lie alot. She may be saying that but was that all that happened? She may jst be trying to add sweetner to the story.


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