Aunty Amara,please I need your advice. I'm a second wife to my husband. He separated from his wife four years ago but his yet to divorce her.
I've been having trust issues with him because he still contacts his ex and talks about her. Whenever he does that, I feel this enthusiasm from his voice. I'm yet to uncover what exactly led to their separation cos I feel he hasn't been honest.
Their marriage was without kids. Aunty I have kids for him.I feel sometimes that I'm not supposed to be here,it annoys me while I let myself into it in the first place, guess I was naive.
This man abuses me emotionally and physically at any slightest disagreement. I don't know if my place is here or should I leave. Is God angry at me? Please advice me ma.
God is not mad at you but he's reaching out to you and yearning to be part of your life and journey.
You knew so well that this man was neither single nor legally divorced, but you thought that you could solve their childlessness by getting married to him and having babies for him.
Now that you have babies for him, you have realised that the happiness you yearn from the man who you desire to grow in love with is no longer there nor is the man mindful of your sacrifices and selfless devotion to him.
He disrespects you and abuses you because he sought after children and never your happiness and fulfilment in life.
From his attitude towards you, it doesn't feel as though he made a space for your presence because his friendship with his wife supersedes your presence in his life and your children for him.
The real challenge is, should you decide to stay with him, how long are you willing to endure feeling like a stranger in his life?
Should his wife return and you now have to live with him in the same roof with his wife, how do you hope to manage your children and your needs?
And should you choose to leave now, what plans do you have in mind for your children?
Well it's not too late to take the right path irrespective of the risks involved and the consequences that may come with it.
I would suggest that you seek the face of God concerning this, hear from him God before making any decision on this but one thing that I must not fail to tell you is that if a man is separated from his wife, he's still married until he has legally divorced his wife because during the period of separation there is every possibility for reconciliation and restoration of the marriage.
That is why it may be difficult for you to demand for absolute commitment from your husband because he can't guarantee that to you because of your babies.
But the final decision is yours to make and I can only pray that God will strengthen your heart and guide you through this turbulent moment of your journey and perfect that which concerns you.
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