Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Nobody Seems to Understand Me!

Good morning Mrs Amara... Please I need an urgent advice from this page..
Am a girl of 20 years old ,have been knocked down by many challenges and thank God for his grace that have kept me going...
My father died when I was 2 years,my mum remarried to another man.. Ever since my mum got married to this man, I have been treated like a slave.. I was maltreated by both my mum and her husband.. My grandmother has been my only means of consolation before she died..
My main problem now is am 20 years, have tried my luck in getting admission in any federal university but to no avail. This year I was admitted into a state university which I can't afford the school fees alone and my mum wasn't doing anything about it since September till now, have not paid my acceptance fees ...
I came to my mum this morning and told her I wanted to go and work at Lagos state since she was not doing anything about my admission she got upset and said am going nowhere that I should take care of my little brothers at home...
If I try raising my voice people would misunderstand me and say am disobeying my mum.. Nobody seems to understand me... They keep telling me she is my mum that I should always obey her..
I was the one who saw myself through school till this level...I have come to understand that all my mum wants is for me to keep taking care of her sons...
Please peeps..advise me on how to handle this situation... Sorry for the long writeup.

Even when your father is no more and your mother forsakes you, we have a father in Heaven who is faithful and will never leave you feeling defeated nor forsake you in times of need. 
I want you to know that your circumstances and challenges at the moment have no power to limit you from becoming that which God has ordained you to be. 
Though it may tarry, it will never consume you nor will they destroy you. 
Please start now to organise yourself and learn to save some money for the future. 
If your mum can afford to pay for you to acquire some skills, please engage in them while you save some of your stipends so that when you have saved enough, you wouldn't need to depend on your mother to travel and develop yourself. 
I know that your mother maybe afraid to allow you leave because of the cost of living in Lagos and the kind of challenges that you may be exposed to which includes joining the wrong company, rape and prostitution which if you don't avoid may crush you entirely and destroy that which you desire to build up. 
Another alternative will be for you to locate your family and relatives so that you can identify with them and see how they can support you to achieve that which your heart desires. 
For now please be positive about yourself and do not let the attitude of your mother make you to think evil or do anything evil to her. 
She on her own side maybe fighting a hard battle that you have no idea about. It's possible that she may have presented your challenge to her husband but he rejected it which made her to react in the manner that she did. 
In all I pray for destiny helpers for your sake and I hope that you will overcome this phase of your life and prosper in all your endeavours. 


  1. That a woman is your mother doesn't mean that she always has good plans for you..
    She doesn't care about your education and all she wants you to do is to sit at home and take care of her sons...
    If she cares so much as to protect you from the possibility of engaging in crime in Lagos like madam Amara said, supporting your education in the university should be the best alternative....If she's a good woman, this should be her problem...
    How else could we describe wickedness?
    That a person is your mother doesn't mean you shouldn't resist her efforts to make stagnant...
    Please...meet your fathers family and present this case to them...They could be of great help...
    Now...if you're sure of what to do at Lagos and you've gotten somewhere to stay, if your aim and acts are genuine...i suggest you let her know and leave...
    Life is per head...If you know what is good for you, do it..
    Your mother is living her life...Refuse to be stagnant...

  2. Dear,sorry about what you are going through. For the main time,please focus on your Personal Development - that is your only passport to a better future. It can be done within or without the school system. Keep learning. Keep improving. Keep building capacity. Get closer to God if you are not. And,most importantly,surround yourself with the right role models - you also have Aunty Amara. And,if you haven't already,go and find out about women like Olajumoke Adenowo,Tara Durotoye,Ndidi Nwuneli,Heather Lindsey,and others like Myles Munroe,Olumide Emmanuel,Praise George,and constantly surround yourself with their their words and writings. Seat down at their feet,and draw as much as you can from them.
    With these 2 strategies,you will not only outgrow your environment,you will also be able to plot your way out of any messy situation. You may need to calm down for now and grow through the process,even as your explore better options,but please,be warned: Compromise is not an option. Temptations will definitely come,but always have it at the back of your mind that whatever you cannot get righteously,is definitely not for you. Those who compromise live to always regret it. Please,don't fall for it.
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