Thursday, December 17, 2015

Should I Forget about Him?

Good day ma please I urgently need your candid advice, this is two years of my marriage. I wedded last two years, I got married to a pastor we didn't date, he use to come to my church for programs when I was in my final year.
During my NYSC he came to me and proposed, a week after we wedded, we had a problem, my husband sold some of our wedding gift without my consent. When I found out that some things were missing I asked him about those things, he denied and told me that he will handle it not knowing that he has sold them.
December that same year he didn't travel with me, I was with his mother then I had a miscarriage, that same December 31st my husband brought in a woman they slept together. When I came back people were coming to see me that my husband told them that I had a miscarriage, our neighbours also told me that a woman slept in my house Dec 31st. When I asked him, he said she was one of her daughters that always go for programs with him.
We started having issues of women, my husband can lie a lot even his siblings confirmed it, he told me that 90% of his friends were women that I should ask his mum. I was in pains everyday fight everyday quarrel, until one day he packed my credentials that he will burn them, that he will not allow me to work.
I called my mum and his mum, he refused to bring it out, I called one of our church members a man he came and talked to him before he brought it out.
Until a day my husband said that he has a vowed which he made that he will not have a child till 40 years, when I heard that I remembered the miscarriage I had a month after our wedding, I was in fear so I packed my things and ran to my parents I told them all I was seeing in this marriage everybody were happy that I came back even my church members, pastors and my relatives warned me never to go back since I have no child with him, after some months he came begging me and my parents that we should forgive him that he has repented.
He did that for a long time I told my Dad to accept him back thinking that he has repented truly, my mum told him that her fear was the covenant he had "no child till 40 years" what has he done about it? He said he has prayed and renounced it.
I went back to him January this year that time I was with my brother that wanted to secure a job for me in their company, so he asked me to stay with my brother for the job, I will be coming on weekends I said okay. I never knew that while I was there he always brought women and by weekends they would go.
So I took in and I told him, it seemed as if he was not happy. I asked him, 'why were you sounding that way, I expected you to say congratulation and be happy' he said what about the job? After the argument he congratulated me, so I told my brother's wife about my pregnancy and we agreed that I will go and stay with him. When I came back, my husband was not happy, I requested for some money for my hospital registration he didn't give me.
I called his mother, his mother gave him some money and he ate it, refused to register me until eight months we had a fight cos of that which I injured him. He doesn't sleep at home again, at times he would lie to me that he had a program that he won't come back that day. He didn't take care of me and the pregnancy, until my parents now asked me to come so that they will take care of me.
I travelled to see them, my husband said that I should go, that why he came and picked me the second time was to prove to my people that he was a man.
Now I have delivered a baby girl through Caesarean Section, my dad paid for the hospital bill cos he switched off his phone when I told him the bill. When I was still in the hospital he came up to four times, his mother came with a bottle of juice since that time till now none of his siblings even his mother have called me on phone for three months now.
My husband came with N46,000 out of N107,350 my Dad paid in the hospital. My Dad told him to forget the balance, my husband still brings in women. It's more than a month now I have not seen them, he goes around telling people that he has spent N150,000 in the hospital that I delivered with CS should I forget about him because that is what am planing to do.
Please advice me.


I pray that God will give you the wisdom, maturity and grace to manage your home and help your husband become a man who will be like Jesus in your life and marriage in Jesus name Amen. 
That a man preaches the gospel with great eloquence and charisma doesn't mean that such a man is a Christian or have a personal relationship with God. 
He may speak in tongues of fire and perform miracles in the name of God. He may host programmes and cause revivals but his heart may be far away from God. 
This is why you shouldn't be surprised by the attitude of your husband in your marriage. 
The mistake you made was thinking that because he hosted great seminars and workshops that he was the Saint from above and you made it complex by not dating him perhaps it was a sin for you then to date him. 
Well one thing I must inform you of is that you are married today and if you wish to achieve any success in your home, then you must learn to leave your father and mother and cleave to your husband and work things out in your marriage. 
I want to believe that the church he pastor's has some level of authority that he's subjected to and there is some form of discipline in the ministry. 
It is absolutely wrong for any minister of the gospel to bring Godly daughters in his home in the presence or absence of his own wife for whatsoever reasons or purpose best known to him. 
Let me not talk about his passion for lies but for you to win this battle against the devil, you must surrender yourself and your home to Jesus and take charge of your marriage spiritually. 
You cannot continue to live outside your home and not expect his girlfriends sorry daughters to come visiting him and ministering to him. 
Please minimise the influence of your family and relatives in your marriage and seek the face of God concerning this. He's not a man because he has impregnated you but he's a man when he remains faithful to you, keeps his daughters out of your matrimonial bed and refrain from lies and when he takes responsibilities for the health and safety of your daughter and his family. 
Please kindly sit him down and let him know that you won't let the devil put you to shame in your home. 
Apologise in any manner that your words or attitudes may have pushed him away and suggest that he keep his programme out of your home. 
What your family can do is support and intervene when necessary but for now please sit down with your husband and work things out with him. 
If truly he be a Christian and then a man of God, then you need to pray for him more that the devil won't make mockery of his calling and ministry in life. 
Pray for him and pray much more for his ministry because this is not God's will for anyone who has a personal relationship with Him. 
Maybe with time and patience, you will understand more about his personality and help him in prosper in his ministry. 
I am already praying for you and I believe that your marriage is not beyond redemption.

9 comments:

  1. Why don't you quit now? Your life matters. You married an adulterous man that has no fear of God.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

    The man made a covenant with a god that is not your own God. Not all people that preach the gospel should be called Pastor. I advise you to leave since he qualifies as an infidel.

    Also what is the Holy Spirit witnessing to you about this man?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You need to pray more and your husband is going to make a great changing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmmm, I pray for God intervention and direction for u. My sis u don't deserve such I'll treatment

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmmm, I pray for God intervention and direction for u. My sis u don't deserve such I'll treatment

    ReplyDelete
  6. My dear God gave us brain to think, your life is more important than that marriage, HIV, STD etc are real and no cure for HIV.Save your life to be able to take care of your little angel please. If you like, stay in that house 24hours a day, a promiscuous/ community penis man will not change. In everything don't under rate the power of prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My dear God gave us brain to think, your life is more important than that marriage, HIV, STD etc are real and no cure for HIV.Save your life to be able to take care of your little angel please. If you like, stay in that house 24hours a day, a promiscuous/ community penis man will not change. In everything don't under rate the power of prayers.

    ReplyDelete

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)