Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Should I Go Ahead with Him?

Please ma,I need advice.
Am 31+ and he is 46yrs,he is a widower with two kids who lost his wife almost eight years ago. He confessed to me that he has a baby mama who had a son for him three years after his wife died ,but he didn't marry her because her father was against their marriage.
Now he want to marry me,should I go ahead?am confused.

You ended up telling me about his circumstances, challenges and his past but failed to tell me about the man in love with you.
Every individual has some stories of their journey in life and it will be wrong to make conclusions based on their past challenges.
This man from your description is a single young man who lost his wife in the cold hands of death.
Take your time and find out who this man is, his personality, perception and purpose in life.
What are his hobbies and how does he unwind to relax. What are his plans for his children and how does he hope to bring in his son who is currently with his baby mama?
What are his fantasies and what is his personal relationship with God like?
Then you may want to know about his former wife and what killed her. (Not because you want to judge him but it's to help you know if there are any form of abuse. Of course you won't ask him about this).
If you are convinced that he's the one that God has prepared for your destiny and you are comfortable with him in all totality and you are willing to accept his children as yours and you are willing to grow in love with him, then go right ahead and marry him.
Always remember that the choice of who to marry is between you and God and nobody else because marriage is a personal relationship with another and you will live to testify to the beauty or the consequences of your decision.

1 comment:

  1. Probably...you should ask God first...
    We wouldn't know whether he's the right man for you..Nobody knows
    But i must let you know the likely implications of getting married to a widower who has children from seperate women...
    Gaining total control over those children could be a challenge especially if they're advanced age wise..
    If you're not their biological mother, you can never be..It'll only be based on assumption...
    You'll get to know this the moment they exhibit unwanted characters and you decide to make certain strict rules that might not favour them...That is when they'll remind you that they don't belong to you...
    This is a major likely challenge you could face...
    So you must know the possible challenges you could face and get ready should they come..
    If you can cope, no wahala


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