Thursday, December 31, 2015

Should I Live in Pains for Having a Baby for Him?

Good day ma. May God bless continue to strengthen you. Am a mother of a beautiful baby girl of five months, I dated my baby daddy for two years and some months before we had issues which lead to our break-up only for me to find out I was pregnant.
I later told him he swore never to have anything to do with me that I should abort the pregnancy, I stood on my grounds I kept the pregnancy. My mum really stood by me she was there when he wasn't.
When I was four months gone I went for a scan took pictures of the image sent to him yet he called to ask me to abort the baby, when I was six months gone he started calling then he came into the country. First he later asked them to take me to his house when he got into Nigeria he stayed in Abuja for two days with his girlfriend before coming home.
To cut the long story short he came back after much drama we made up. But almost everyday I was in pains, one day I was resting my head on his chest only for me to see him chatting with a girl and she told him sex with you was the best ever. It was as if my world would come to an end, all thanks to his beautiful mum, she talked me out of that mood and he later apologised.
One day he went out, slept out and I was almost due only for me to find out he lodged in an hotel with a girl he met at the salon where I make my hair. After much begging I stayed I finally gave birth to my beautiful angel a blessing to our generation. He loves her greatly we lived happily but he kept on cheating. He had plans of going to see my people that he even asked my mum to go and see them because my dad was late and am the eldest. We then had an issue that resulted to me insulting him I told him he was very stupid meanwhile I had a lot on my mind.
My baby was three months old when I found out a lady in her early forty's said she was pregnant, he was not even up to 30 years meanwhile am just 24 years old. I cried and cried I asked him if he wasn't happy with me why didn't he just tell me to go. Aunty amara do you know this guy begged as if his life depends on having us as his family. Then the issue about me insulting him came up because he wasn't paid for two months. I practically emptied my own little savings to manage the house only for this man to get paid and he kept it to himself after the fight with him I apologised he refused that I was the one who ended the relationship. I even told our pastor, his parents and family friends yet he refused and after two months of emotional torture he started talking to me but most times he'll talk to me like a piece of trash.
I later had a meeting with him somewhere where I asked what his plans where and what crime did I commit he couldn't talk because through this two months, I have been in his family house. Then I asked him when does he intend on taking us back home he said on 30th which is today only for him to chat me up and told me that he's tired of living in pretense. What plans do I have in life.
Ma I was really happy hearing that from him I told him I wanted to go back to school and also learn tailoring the next thing he started bringing up issues then I told him that when I made move to look for places around what effort did he put as my partner instead he was quarrelling with me. The worst he said was when I asked him so all along you were pretending not like he gives me money to buy cloth or cream or toiletries.
Since I gave birth he only gave me money once to make my hair after much begging. I really love him and my child but am losing myself in the process because I now feel he sees me like a liability meanwhile when he met me I was into bridal make over I also did decoration, he now blamed me for all my failures. Should I live in pains for having the baby or loving him?

The choice of who to marry is a very very very sensitive and important decision in the life of any individual who desires to experience the beauty of matrimony. It is not dependent on the opinions of anyone or the sentiments of anybody no matter how genuine they may be and for the fact that you had a child for a man doesn't in anyway mean that you have signed the dotted lines of being one with him for life. 
Raising children irrespective of the circumstances surrounding their birth can be done if the parties involved agree to work together and invest in their children irrespective of their differences and the plans they share for each other. Once there is an agreement, the needs of your children will be taken care of with little or no stress. 
But when it comes to deciding who to spend your life with in holy matrimony, you must open your eyes to the realities of the personality you are getting married to, his personal relationship with God, his attitude to issues of life, his commitment to taking responsibility and being devoted to the home and the marriage. You must also consider his weaknesses and ask yourself some real life questions whether you have all it takes to endure, tolerate, pray and accept him irrespective of how hurting and frustrating that can be. 
You cannot see a man who chats with his girlfriends while your head is on his own chest and you open your arms and say that you will marry him all because you had a child with him. 
You cannot make a man who is getting married to you out of convenience and perhaps the persuasion of his family your husband if you are not comfortable and convinced that your getting married to him will make you happy and fulfilled in life. 
Please do not let sentiments push you into marriage because the effects of such decisions will hit you harder than it would have any effect on your child or children. 
Loving a man can be romantic but living with a man who doesn't love you nor does he respect your emotions can be very very depressing and dangerous. 
Assuming that you never had any child with him, will marriage be the best decision you ever made to be with him? 
Assuming that you never had any child for him, will you really wish to be married to him and do you feel that you have all you need to cope with his personality? 
Assuming that you don't have any child for him, does this man truly represent the kind of husband you genuinely prayed for? 
You see, you will be the one who will sign the dotted lines of your marriage certificate and everyone else including your child will cheer you up, but what happens after will be your own testimonies and experience of your own decision. 
Please tell yourself the truth and kindly seek the face of God concerning who to marry so that you don't make any decision that you will live to regret for the rest of your life. 
Thank you for deciding to keep your baby and please choose a partner who would love to see you happy, fulfilled, and eternally at peace with him.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)