Friday, December 25, 2015

Should I Take my Son to His Father?

Good evening Amara Van-Lare... I saw that you give serious advice on how to handle problems..My story is this::
I got married to my husband who I dated for only one year before marriage. Three months after my court and traditional marriage my husband changed drastically, too much beatings and disgrace, he would flog me with rope, wire and belts till I faint most time, he beat out two pregnancies from me on two occasions. His home coming was usually hell for me, my family didn't support me leaving him, my mum was never by my side so I was all alone in the fight, believe me the domestic violence was terrible.
Then I found solace in a male(single) neighbour, he was my best friend and confidant, he listened to me and comforted me, he was there for me in a way nobody else has ever been, with him I was no longer sad and alone.
With time we started having sex, the truth was I enjoyed his attention at that time because he was the only one I could run to.. When my husband beats me up, I go to him secretly and he comforts me, along the line I got pregnant and I knew it was his, I kept the truth from my husband and I broke up with my neighbour when the pregnancy was three months old.
I gave birth successfully yet the abuse from my husband didn't stop, when my son was one year old I finally took the bold step and left my marriage back to my parents..
Since then I've been with my parents and my child... These days I've not been to settled when I remember the whole episode, what will people say when they find out, am I fully to be blamed and should I take my son to his real father??

I understood that in the state of your mind and with the rate and manner of abuse, you will be vulnerable to anything, from infidelity to unnecessary association with strange individuals.
Yes I won't blame you for finding someone to confide in but deciding to continue with him when you knew so well that you were married and didn't have such privileges to share your body with another man was a deliberate one which you should take responsibility for irrespective of the opinions of men.
Your son has no idea of your choices and decisions and is totally dependent on you to tell him the whole truth about his identity and help him start his journey on the right foundation.
He deserves to know who his father is and how to reach out to him whenever he wishes to. You may not need to explain so much but let him know that his father isn't your husband.
To err is humanity and nobody is flawless so their opinions is not as important as your conscience which nobody can tamper with.
Thank God that you chose life over such a wicked abusive man. You don't need to feel bad about it but learn from your experience and prepare yourself for the future so that you don't repeat the same mistake twice.


  1. Honestly, I don't even know what to say. You actually went too far by sharing your body with a total stranger when you were still married. Since, you've left your abusive husband, I hope you don't intend going back to him. Since that one is settled, please don't keep the truth from your son and do inform his father ASAP.


  2. I am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for over 9 years and we had two kids. thing were going well with us and we where always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treated me and the kids. later that month he did not come back home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he casted on him that make him come back to me. my family and i are now happy again. Thank you Dr. Aluta for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. He cast spells for different purposes


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