Saturday, January 16, 2016

He's Engrossed with His Phone!

Good day madam, I joined this platform this January and I always like your comments on issues. May the Lord continue to strengthen and uphold your home. I am a lady of 31 years , married with a kid. I always have this problem among others with my husband(women). He keeps female friends, even some of them are not even aware he is married. They call him all the time even at odd times that we are supposed to be sleeping. I have complained, begged for him to stop but he refused always telling me he has nothing to do with them, that they just need his attention and advice on some personal issues.
For over two years of my marriage, I didn't know what harmony in marriage was, we quarrel all the time until I decided not to go through his phone again nor listen to his conversation whenever he was on the phone. I told him I will obey the Bible and play my part as a wife, for few months now, I let go of my anger and bitterness towards him and we have been doing well not that he stopped though but I just hide my pains and it's eating me up. I can't tell you everything because they are so many, my husband has over ten(10) phone numbers on his phone that he didn't store with names , some he stored with "no number" yet he swore to me with his life that he has never slept with another lady since he married me.
Should I just take what he says for the sake of peace? I dare not spend ten minutes chatting in his presence , he gets angry and sometimes seizes my phone and he suspect me with anyone am close with or interact with. For three days now I have been sleeping in my baby room, because he has been so engrossed with his phone even when he is eating, he is on the bed he is always chatting, even when I tried to ask him about his day, he will just answer "fine".
Please advice me ma, I have endured this for over three years now and it's really affecting our marriage and our sexual relationship because good sex has to do with mood.

You have started on a good note by deciding not to allow what happens in his phone to be a threat to your marriage and happiness. No matter what he does and whoever he interacts with, you are better than them all because you are the only lady before God and man who is in his life not by accident but by divine provision. 
You do not need to feel as though you are a stranger to him or that you are competing with another girl who is taking his attention. Though I understand how you feel but you need to get hold of your emotions and encourage yourself with the fact that you are not missing but you are in your home, your marriage and with your husband. 
You need to be confident and at peace with your soul because you are not only his wife, you are also blessed with a handsome son. 
Encourage him to read this particular mail because I have a word or two for him. 
No matter how busy you maybe at work, no matter how harmless your chat maybe, and no matter the Godly counsel or the business development or the personal issues that all the ladies may bring to you for solutions as a man and no matter your ministry even as a pastor, your wife comes first and her emotionally needs should be attended to first before any other thing. 
It is unfair and unfortunate for a man and a husband to treat his own wife as though she was a mistake in his life and then divert all his attention, and time to strange women. 
If you succeed in chasing your wife away from you, how do you hope that she will be able to help you and support you in all your endeavours. 
Please desist from giving anything else a priority over your own marriage and your wife in particular. All the girls that you chat with and all your business clients and all the work in your office combined together is nothing compared to your wife and your companion. 
And even if you have the need to discuss anything with anybody else, you ought to tell your wife and seek her consent before engaging in such a discussion. 
It's both ridiculous and childish for a mature, responsible and visionary man to allow his handset to destroy his marriage and be a threat to his wife. 
Please make amends and give your family the priority that it deserves. 
I pray that you will not destroy the only gift that has made you a happy man. 


  1. Babe,I understand the pain u are going through. I would advise you throw your energy into your work and taking care of your son. Keep busy so that it doesn't get to you. HAve u ever contracted any ST disease from him? Make sure u always pRay and ask God's protection over him.

  2. My dear. I feel ur pain but I pray for staying power. I advise u continually pray for him. My concern is jus the S.T.D. pls relent in praying there is nothing God can not do.


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