Thursday, January 21, 2016

I Feel Like Killing my Husband!

Good day madam I appreciate the way you advice people, I just feel like killing my husband and hanging myself.
Am eight years in marriage with four lovely kids, I and my hubby dated for three years before we got married,he loves me and am sure of that and he was my first love, he proposed to me after three months we met though ladies used to admire him cos he is handsome and charming but I didn't see him as someone who flirts.
He is someone who knows what he wants,I married him because he is a wise man,who knows his responsibilities, and a practising christian with a wonderful family background but I thought he is my ideal man then. After three years, he started coding his phone and I asked him why he said that friends used to check his bank alert. As a matter of fact I don't have access to his phone,he does pay so much attention to my needs especially for his kids,he loves his kids dearly, he only remembers me only when he have problems but to my greatest surprise I tried some code and opened his phone and discovered he has numerous girlfriends with their nudes posted for him,he used to request for nudes.
I confronted him he denied and later admitted cos he knew I have evidences cos I took all the pictures and their conversations,that is I snapped everything with my phone,though there were other signs of infidelity and am too myopic to see the handwriting on the wall cos I loved and trusted him to the extent that I can vow for him.
Please ma I need your advise though my plan was to sue for divorce for which I have made some steps on and our Rev have been pleading on his behalf and I have been having the revelation about it and if I ask, he will say its imagination and I told him then that the worst he can do was to cheat on me and I warned him that if I discovered any infidelity that I must divorce him no matter any circumstances.
Ma I can't lie to you,honestly,I can never cope with an unfaithful man, he might infect me with diseases, àm really hurt ma,please sorry for the long text.

Nobody can ever cope with an unfaithful partner no matter the excuse for such an infidelity. It's the worst thing any partner could consider or venture into because it crushes the very foundation of the marriage institution and replaces it with fears, doubts and constant worries.
I perfectly understood how you felt realising that the man you have celebrated as your hero was romancing strange women and demanding nude pictures and who knows how many of them he has slept with.
But divorcing him may not be the best approach to salvage your marriage and protect the needs of your children. I know that you never anticipated this but giving up on all you have invested in your marriage, the beautiful beginnings, the not so palatable experiences and the challenges that has brought you and him together.
Infidelity is a spiritual battle against the devil and the mistakes most partners do is that they start fighting when the devil has struck instead of fighting at all times and seasons. Most of us trust our partners so much that we don't pray for them to stand against the lust of the eyes, the pride of life and the desires of the flesh.
Understanding that the vulnerable person is your husband will help you make a wise decision not to give the devil the whole space to destroy your marriage. If you give up on your husband and your marriage, you would have succumbed to plots of the devil to steal the love in your marriage, kill the home that you have laboured for and destroy the unity of purpose that have sustained you and your husband even when there were many challenges.
Look back and remember where you were coming from, look forward and imagine where God is taking you to and then decide whether divorcing him would be the best alternative.
I know that you are in pains and disappointments but if he's a Christian and he is willing to give up his desire to cheat and make you his priority while he becomes as naked as possible. If he has genuinely realised the evil he has allowed the devil to use him to accomplish, please do not shut down everything.
We can take it back to God and allow him to fix that which is broken. He is still in the ministry of restoring that which the enemy wants to destroy and steal. God can still give you a beautiful marriage from a broken trust and strengthen your husband to remain faithful to the covenant.
We can pray for your marriage and allow the Holy spirit to heal your home and dwell in the heart of your life and the life of your husband.
Begin by surrendering everything to God in prayers and invite him into your home and marriage. Then sit down with your husband and discuss with him. Listen to him and find out what could have lead him to consider cheating on you. No matter how silly his reasons maybe, simply listen and ask him if he still want the marriage or he feels choked and want to be free to sleep with many women as he wishes.
Remember that it should be a discussion in which you and your husband will come to an agreement on what is best for you and your children.
You and him will need to agree to give your marriage the first priority over the needs of your children and any other needs of the family. You and him must agree to be naked in all areas of your marriage from his handset to your communication with him and also agree to pray together and work with one another to build your home.
Marriage is like a moulded clay pot, sometimes it may be broken but it doesn't mean that the clay is useless to the potter because he had a vision that such could happen and as such have made a provision for remodelling and remoulding of the clay to something more beautiful and adorable than it was before.
This phase of your marriage may be a catalyst that will lunch you and your husband into the most beautiful moments of your marriage if you and your husband can agree with one purpose and vision to take your marriage to the potter.
Please be encouraged and be strong for your children and yourself because killing him won't take away the pains of his infidelity nor will it give you the peace of mind that you yearn for. And no matter how terrible things could be, please do not consider taking your own life because your children look up to you everyday for support, for encouragement and for Godly counsel who will guide them in their budding phase of their journey.
By his grace and infinite mercies, we can pray that God's grace will be sufficient for you especially in this trying moments of your life.

1 comment:

  1. There are many problems in the life! But I know another unfaithful story . If you hadn't read it you didn't know anything about infidelity!)


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