Wednesday, January 6, 2016

I Love Him but Can't Trust Him Anymore!

Good morning Ma. Sorry this is coming so early. I once sent you a message and asked your advice on this same relationship before, and your advice worked for me.
There is this thing he keeps doing, that is telling me that we are done at some point and coming back at some other begging. He has done this for over five times now, and each time he keeps repeating the same promises which he ends up not keeping. This happens when I cannot even place my hands on what the reason was, the last one that happened, I could not believe it, I thought he was joking, because we never had any real argument, I had to accept it at some point when I got to know he was serious.
Now he is back, begging to be taken back. The thing with me now is I can't easily bring myself to trust him, though I know I still love him. But I am been careful so I wouldn't have myself to blame tomorrow if we eventually got married (we've talked about that). I am beginning to think maybe this character of his is a sign of what might go wrong tomorrow.
Need I mention that though he is not a degree holder before now I was ready to be with him cause of the fact that I am a lawyer has never been an issue tomorrow. I can learn to trust him again and believe him again, but on the other hand, though 27, I am not desperate to tie the knot with a man who I may not be able to rely on tomorrow in marriage. What do I do please?
Should I keep on, should I just close my eyes and leave?

When a man constantly threatens to leave the relationship, kindly let him go because staying back make be to frustrate your efforts and torture you emotionally. It's a negative sign really because those who are convinced do not run away from misunderstandings, challenges and differences of each other in the relationship but they choose to solve their problems and make amends where necessary.
It could also be that he's threatened by your academic development and as such always feel threatened whenever you make an opinion of your own.
Sit him some and ask him some critical questions why he is emotionally unstable and psychologically not prepared to take responsibility in the relationship and what he's really afraid of, this will help you understand him much better and possibly decide on whether to continue with the relationship or to quit the relationship.
Another thing that individuals with such personality do is that they trade blames and can tell the whole world any challenges in their relationship.
The negative side effects is that they are rarely teachable and willing to take corrections or make amends and secondly they can actually leave the marriage or relationship if they see a "better" person than the one they were dating.
The choice is obviously yours, please keep your eyes on the floor so that you can learn and see some of the traits of his personality. This will enable you to decide whether he's truly what you need or a beautiful reflection with a bad content.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)