Tuesday, January 5, 2016

My Husband Has a Mental Disorder!

Hello madam please I need your advice. I got married because of difficulties I was facing then so I became frustrated and decided to marry at age 19. I married as a virgin which am regretting why I kept myself because my husband didn't even value it. I mean my husband can't have sex or should I say I have never enjoyed sex with him though I was a virgin but after marriage the way he was having sex, I had to buy sex videos to see if that could help our sex life but still it did not work.
I have a baby boy now but I conceived him through I V F with the help of his parents because he is not doing anything because of his over dependence on his parents. It's the mum that dictates what will happens.
Sometimes I feel as if I am their house maid instead of a wife because my husband has no say in the family. (HE HAS A KIND OF MENTAL PROBLEMS) which I never knew about before marriage because we didn't date at all(arranged marriage).
Ma'am let me be sincere with you, I have slept with his close family member but has seek for forgiveness from God and I promised not to do again. But my problems now is for how long will I continue living this way? I feel ashamed introducing him to people as my husband and this was not the life I planned to live.
It's getting worse everyday that I can't even imagine myself kissing him. He has mouth odour, I have tried to help him but it's not working out (he has mouth wash )so ma'am sometimes I feel like leaving this marriage. Am just here because of what people will say if I leave.

If truly you had no idea that your husband has some form of mental disorder and illness, it's a very sensitive ground for divorce. You can't be treated like a slave because you have a right to who you chooses to associate with or be married to. Instead of cheating on your husband because of the opinion of men, it would be fair for you to reconsider the foundation of the marriage and decide if you can cope with him and his challenge.
His case is peculiar and nobody will crucify you if you decide to leave today because you have the right to at least know the kind of man you were getting married to so that you can prepare your heart before meeting him.
It's quite a complex one because you are married but living a lonely life of slavery. You now have a child in the picture and you cannot even boast of a good sexual intimacy.
If you wish to remain with him, maybe you may need to open your heart to help him, support him and seek ways to communicate effectively with him.
You also need to understand the kind of mental disorder that he's experiencing and see if there are ways or things that can be done to help him recover and be stable again.
And of course he needs so much prayers and intercessions for divine healing but you can't achieve any of those if you do not love him from the depth of your heart.
The choice is yours but what I won't encourage you to do is to live with him and then cheat on him. It doesn't portray you as a lady of virtue.

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