Friday, February 26, 2016

He Hardly Resist the Urge to Kiss Me!

Good evening, ma'am... God bless you for your service to humanity.. I really need your advice and that of your fans...
I'm 22 years old, in a relationship with a 31 years old man... We are both graduates and working, our relationship is a year and some months old, both families are aware of the relationship and we plan settling down next year by God's grace...
My one and only problem with this relationship is the fact that my man can hardly resist the urge to kiss me(I've never had sex before and he is aware of that and even promised not to force me into it till marriage )
Whenever we are together.... I have been complaining about it and even threatened to end the relationship if he refuses to stop and he will promise not to do it again but after a few months it will still repeat itself again.... We were together on Saturday evening gisting before I knew what was happening he started kissing me already and am never comfortable with the act, whenever it happens I feel the departure of the Holy Spirit from me...
I cried bitterly that Saturday and told him I won't continue with the relationship again, I even told my pastor two days after this incidence and he advised me to never go back to the relationship.... This guy has been begging and begging through SMS and Facebook/whatsapp chat that he won't repeat it again but I find it very difficult to believe him again because he has betrayed my trust (cos this is not his first time of doing such and begging)...
I told him never to call my number again.. Ma'am, we really love each other.... I don't know if I should forget about him and move on cos I can't stay in a relationship that doesn't glorify God, please help me to help him if there's a way you can...
He is really a nice person, every lady's dream guy.... He is also not happy with the act but he finds it difficult to stop it...
Ma, please help me out, this is his only weak point for now.. Thanks and God bless you!

In elementary science my teacher taught me that likes poles repel each other and unlike poles attracts. In relationship, one of the evidence of a mutual love and genuine desire for one another is the emotional attraction one shares for each other. It may be as a result of what he or she admires or the physical appearance or the attitude and character or the tone of voice or complexion or intelligence but one thing is this, God blessed each and every individual with one feature or attributes that has the potential to draw another person closer to the other. 
What your partner is doing is both normal and human and if you were to be married and your husband lacks such attributes, you will be frustrated in your marriage. 
Why did I begin this way, it's to help you understand that your partner didn't do something that was a taboo in a relationship but because of your personal relationship with God and your vulnerability to having sex or forgetting that you may not be emotionally, financially and psychologically prepared for the sex, you wished to abstain from anything that will make you not to stand or find yourself engaging in premarital sex, you do not want to do anything that may push you into such hence your decision to abstain from any arousal or sexual advances from him. 
This is what you needed to communicate effectively to him and also help him to realise this vision with little or no struggles. Reporting him to your pastor was a bit immature and unnecessary because before you consider going into a relationship with a man, you ought to have the maturity to handle some subtle misunderstandings, disagreements and misconceptions that might arise in the course of getting to know each other so that both of you can work together to make your vision a reality. 
And it's not every little thing that you rush to your pastor to report but you should have a personal relationship with God and a personal convictions of your actions before venturing into the relationship. 
Since you are in love with him and he has apologised for kissing you, I will encourage you to consider the relationship and your convictions before venturing into the relationship. This time I will encourage you not to meet in a secluded environment or somewhere where only you and him are together so that you don't run out of what to say and find yourself in a compromising circumstances with each other. 
Take your time to explain your intentions and your reasons for decision so that he will work with you if he's convinced that he can wait for you. I hope that he shares the same spiritual convictions with you and is willing to work with you, else please do not associate yourself with him to avoid regrets.
You may also encourage him to write to me so that I can have a word or two with him. 


  1. My girl you said you heard from the holy spirit?I want to ask does the holy spirit gives you the go ahead that the young man his your mr right?,and please don't only say you love him;did you have any conviction in your spirit that he his the right person for you.?well my girl if yes to all this questions then,Holy Spirit of God will always direct you on what to do,where to be or go with him.always listen to the warnings of that small still voice direction at all times.alright is well o,forgive him and forget what he did to you alright

    1. Please read well...she didn't say she heard from the Holy Spirit.....she said 'whenever it happens I feel the departure of the Holy Spirit from me...' your advice is off point... Read it again and give a corresponding advice.


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