Wednesday, February 24, 2016

He Toils with my Emotions!

Aunt Amara Good morning, please I need your help.. I'm too emotional to the extent that when I have a problem with my boyfriend and we quarrel I'm always the one to plead and beg for the relationship to stand and he ends up toiling with my emotions because he knows I will always come to plead whether he is wrong or I am wrong...
Aunty I really want to stay strong and not allow any man toil with my life and emotions it kills me.... Please ma what can I do to stay strong and overlook their attitude... It gives me lots of worries and thinking and I end up not eating and I cry always...
How do I fight this thing aunt? Please help me.

The real challenge is that you feel inferior in your relationship and you feel that without him, you cannot survive. 
The negative impact of inferiority complex is that you keep enduring, managing, suffering and being treated like a slave and then you empower your partner to oppress and suppress you much more than you ever imagined. 
Another challenge with this attitude is that you may think that you can cope with his pride and ego until you perhaps get married to him and then you discover that you cannot cope with it and someday you may no longer be able to manage or suppress your emotions. Then you will explode and the world will blame you for not enduring and understanding his personality. 
Relationship and marriage is not for those who are emotionally immature or childish or feel proud or petty of himself but for responsible, accountable and honest individuals who are willing to give their all to build the kind of a relationship or marriage that they both desire. 
You are not fighting him or fighting for his place but you must realise that you are first a blessing on earth and a blessing to anyone that is dating you. Then you must also realise that no matter how much you sacrifice or endure to make the relationship work, if he's not willing to give his heart to the relationship and to respect and appreciate your personality, it will crash down someday. 
So to help yourself first and to help him, you must sit him down and let him know that it is not a crime to make mistakes, acknowledge the mistakes and apologise for his shortcomings. 
You are not helping yourself by always running to apologise for what you never did and it is extremely dangerous to start a trend that you cannot sustain or manage should you get married to him. 
Whenever he does something that is wrong and then decides to shut you off, please spend quality time and improve your self esteem, read books and articles that will build you emotionally and psychologically, spend quality time with God and remind yourself that an unhealthy relationship is toxic to your heart and soul. 
And if he doesn't call or reach out to you and specifically acknowledge his shortcomings and limitations as a human, please let him off your life and trust God for your own partner. 


  1. God bless u aunty Amara.... What u said early is true... A man should learn how to say am sorry... It helps in relationship and marriage too

  2. All you need is understanding your self worth...

  3. Most men don't respect women who don't see themselves worthy to be respected, value yourself and respect will come...The Lord is your strength.


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