Monday, February 29, 2016

How Do I Inform Him of my Decision?

Good morning ma ... Happy new week.. Please ma I have been reading your post on how you have been helping people to solve their problems and I believe as am here to write to you.. You will definitely be of help to me... Thank you so much... Am one of your great fans ooo....
My problem now is that am dating a guy that feels business is the ultimate and he so much believe that his wife to be must be supportive in terms of contributing during marriage rites.... But I always say no to such statements... He has this nasty character which I believe I can handle but as the days goes by... He keeps adding more nasty attitudes .. He is not appreciative.. To mention but a few... I still decided to accept his marriage proposal ...
Ever since he has been saying of this marriage but am not seeing any bold step concerning the marriage plan to the extent am yet to meet with his parents ... So I decided to keep a distance knowing fully well our communications will be coming from him.. That's if he wants oo...
So lately he supported me financially to carry out a project of which I never believed he could do... So now am having a very serious suitor whom I saw for the first time and liked him... And that's exactly the kind of man I want as a partner... Heaven knows am ready to settle with him... My problem now is that I don't know how to tell ma guy am settling for another guy... Am having this feeling like am hurting someone or letting him conclude his suspicious mind about me...
Cos he has always believed I have someone am dating behind him.... But truly none...
So ma please how do I handle this now? Thanks and remain blessed... I love you

You have already confirmed his fears if not to him, you have confirmed it to me. Relationship is not a relaxation garden where you settle for a man who has all you wanted in life but it is a farm where your efforts and his sacrifices are needed for you to have a fruitful harvest in your farm. 
You have been dating this man and you have also accepted his proposals, I thought that you were convinced of what you wanted and needed in a man before you accepted him. You even made me feel that you were willing to sacrifice your heart to help him become a better man. 
He disappointed you by giving you some capital for your project and the best way to reward him is by informing him that he wasn't good enough for you. 
Where I have issues with your attitude is that you were managing him while hoping for a "better" man and now that you have seen someone who you feel is the best you prayed for, you have forgotten that this young man has blood flowing through his veins. 
There is no need for you to remain in the relationship because you won't be of any benefits to him nor will you be happy with him. I hope that you will be happy with who you met and that things work out the way you perceive them. 
I hope that you can seek the face of God concerning this and be convinced before thrashing your relationship. 
I wish you all the best and I will encourage you to open up to him and tell him the truth about your decision. 
Do not tell him that you found a better person (never you compare anyone with another in life because even God doesn't do such) but let him know that you cannot cope with his personality and attitude to you and the relationship and because of that you have decided to move on and trust God for your own husband. 
Wish him all the best and appreciate him for all he has sacrificed in the relationship.

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