Monday, February 29, 2016

I Feel Depressed and Angry!

Greetings to you ma, please I need your help, this is my first time of writing to you.
Ma please I have been in a relationship for over four years now, my relationship has grown so wide that the both families are aware of it but something is happened now and it is giving me concern.
My friend made a proposal to me of which I accepted cos of the love I have for him, he has been the one taking care of me providing my needs from beginning to the end, but something happened,
He stays in America, he called me one day and explained how he has not been able to get tangible thing doing because he does not have papers and that he has talked with people and found out that the only way he can settle that is by getting married to a white lady and after he must have gotten his papers then he will divorce her then I will come over to be with him, he called and explained everything to me of which I gave him a go ahead in order to continue, and now he is living with a white lady though that did not interrupt our communication but he doesn't call whenever he is with the lady.
Aunty I understand the fact that he loves me cos he keeps calling and pleading to me to just exercise patience that things will soon get better that he is doing that to secure a place for our future but my problem now is that as a human being each time I remember that my man is living with another lady I feel so depressed and angry that the man am keeping myself for is having an affair.
This lady in question has kids but she is not married and she is older than my guy,
Aunty please advice me on what to do, should I love him the way I do or should I just quit. He Is about paying my dowry please help.

I am meant to encourage you to wait for him, to assure you that he loves you since he sought your advice before venturing to getting married to a white lady and that you should not feel depressed because both of you agreed to sacrifice your relationship for some money at the least possible time. 
However because I respect the sanctity of marriage and because I fear the one who created the institution of marriage, I won't be the one to tell you to wait for a marriage to be broken so that you can move in as the substantive wife of him. 
I won't because of the colour of her skin betray her and then support you to be an intruder in their marriage. How much is your relationship worth and why will you consent for him to marry a white lady when he can work extra hard to make some cents or dollars no matter how little. 
Under the law and under God he's married and you ought to pray that their marriage prosper while you move on with your life and trust God for your own husband. 


  1. Ma, I really like u more just because of this advice. thank you, though I know she will not like it but that's a bitter pill to swallow for her

  2. Marriage is marriage no matter how it was contracted,he is married my dear poster,in the first place u should not have accepted such proposal,if he is finding life difficult there,he could come over to the country where u both are based and start life in a humble way certainly gradually he will grow,a lot of persons dont need to travel out to make it in life,cos of his quest for material things he got himself tangled in this mess,let he be and accept he is a married man

  3. Thank u ma for this wonderful advice. And to u dear poster jst take heart bc no matter hw u c it old woman or not he's a married man. Therefore what God joined together no body shld separate it.

  4. God bless U Ma for this great advice.Dear poster just take heart and stop feeling depressed.Ask the Lord to lead and direct ur path so that ur God given spouse will locate U.The man in question is married in respective of d motive.The lesson U must learn here is,go for a man that has a vision and purpose in life not a man that is looking for green pastures in a way that doesnt please God.

  5. I agree that the advise is a good one. However, being a resident in America, I know that many such arranged marriages, which are often monetized, exist with the understanding that the purpose is to secure the papers. If this is the case here, I don't think that it's a bad idea to wait for this guy. When the guy receives his papers, the couple usually will separate amicably, and then he will be in a position to be with the writer as planned.


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