Tuesday, February 23, 2016

I Always Wished I Was Married!

Good morning ma happy weekend. This is my first time of writing but I am your fan.
I am a 24 year old woman,am a graduate waiting for service. I used the word "woman" because that is what almost all my friends are now. It's like I am the only one left, ma I am very down in spirit now, I don't know if any woman has been in this position before. All my friends are getting married, some are already married with 1-2 years old babies.
When I complain people don't understand me, they will laugh at me and tell me I am still young but that's not how it is with me. I have prayed to God that I want to marry immediately after graduating, I want to have my own home and a family as I didn't grow up with my parents. Dad died when I was born and mum when I was five years, I have been living with people from then till now both sisters, brothers and aunties. I am the last child of nine, my elder ones takes very good care of me even as am not of same father with them and have never been to my father's place before.
My siblings are all married, people have been coming but they are not okay with me. I am actually in a relationship but he is not financially okay as he said that he can not start a family with salary of N60, 000 so I just kept mute whenever he says that so that it will not be like am pushing too hard. I sometimes help him financially too and things are not getting any better but I don't know how long I can continue to wait.
Still he is all I want in a man, he is a graduate,from a good home, hardworking and above all he is very caring. I always feel odd when my friends tells me they are getting married. I know marriage is not a bed of roses but I know it is the answer to my long time problem of having my own home. I might not be making sense to some people but that's how I feel.
Ma please how can I stop feeling less of myself around my friends when they are getting married? I get angry every time at home over little things and always wish I was married. I have also prayed too. Thanks and God bless.

You made sense to me and I perfectly understood what you desire and crave for. No matter how much anyone may love you or appreciate you or provide for your needs, it cannot replace the parental love that is unique, exceptional and lovely whether they have enough money or limited funds.
The experiences of growing up with strangers may have given you the longing to have your own family and experience parenthood which fate denied you.
In life, every individual is on a track running an individual race, some began early, some began not so early while some will begin at the later part of their life, and at the same time, they may reach their destination at different times. Unlike racing event that has the same destination for all contestants, the destination of every individual is different.
You may be feeling bad because your friends are getting married but what you may not know is that many of your age mates died before they saw their 24th birthday, some of your age mates who got married are seeking for divorce today, some who got married at your age group are crying, weeping and are being abused daily in their own home.
This is the reason why you should not for any reason compare yourself with anyone else, not even your blood siblings because your path and their path is uniquely different just as your face differ from the faces of your friends.
Be rest assured that God who gave you the desire and the longing to give your best for your family and children will provide a man who will soothe your heart and be a blessing to you.
Please do not let your age or the fact that your friends are getting married push you into getting married to a wrong partner because even when you are in your home, you may never have the peace of mind and the happiness to give your best in your marriage.
Celebrate with those who are celebrating but be patient and use this rare divine opportunity to prepare yourself for your marriage. Learn some skills and virtues that you would need when you are married, build a healthy friendship and learn how to communicate effectively with your partner and how to support him in times of need.
You already have a promising relationship, please give your heart to the relationship and explore ways to support him so that both of you can achieve your vision for the relationship.
What can your hands do today? Develop yourself and never let a day come without adding values to your life.
Read books on building a Godly relationship and marriage, understanding your role as a wife and mother, pregnancy and motherhood, and balance it with the challenges and the experiences of those who are already married and you will gain a better picture of what you need to know before you get married.
I am hopeful that God will perfect all that concerns you but you must learn to trust in God and to patiently wait on God. The reason is because desperation and impatience may cost you your happiness and the peace of mind and you may end up with a wrong partner or end up being deceived by some men who may exploit your emotions and possibly make you a single mother.
Please be patient and please do not give up on God, he will grant you your heart desire.


  1. God bless you, Dear Aunty you have really hit the nail on the head. Patience and Faith are the way out!!!

  2. 24 years, waiting for service and marriage is your priority? Wow. There is nothing wrong with marriage being your major goal in life, so don't get me wrong, but as a young lady of this generation, don't you think it will be nice to be independent before proceeding with the marriage stuff? You rightly said the man you love doesn't feel comfortable starting up a family with an income of N60,000 (probably monthly). At a point I felt you wouldn't want to be dependent throughout your life after what you've been through, you depended on siblings and few extended family members as you lost your parents and am sure you wouldn't want to depend on someone that makes 60k monthly, so why not cool down, serve your fatherland and get something tangible doing that can elevate you to an independent lady with which you can support whomever you wish to marry? Young lady, that your "mates" are getting married doesn't mean you should also get married with them, your life and theirs aren't same, they're married to whom God probably reserved for them and you sure don't expect God to give your "mates" and yourself same man for marriage. Your time will come for sure and you should have it in mind that marriage is not a race or a competition. Your story mustn't be same with others, you're specially made and your story should be unique. For now maybe you should concentrate more on being a lady of your own and set your priorities before rushing into marriage (Except you're in a competition with someone).


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