Sunday, February 28, 2016

I Doubt His Love for Me!

Hello Aunty Amara, thanks for your many wonderful tips for saving relationships. I'm a lady of 32 and I had a long distance relationship with this guy who stays in Spain for close to six months before I relocated to Greece and took it upon myself to accept his marriage proposal when he visited Nigeria for a week.
Every member of his family accepted me and we've been really close before I arrived Europe; we virtually spent more hours of the day on Skype, Facebook , Bbm, twitter etc. I accepted to court him and has visited him thrice because the distance between us wasn't much.
I have never had any reason to doubt his love for me until I decided to check his Facebook messenger, while I was at it, I noticed he still chats intimately with few girls back in Nigeria and he quarrelled fiercely with me when he saw me going through his phone. In fact , one of the girls was telling him I'm too old and that he was following me for the money I've made back home and He didn't seem to stop chatting with the girl except that he told her it's not true that he loves me on the chat.
After that incidence, I spent the remaining days of my visit crying out my eyes and he didn't seem to care except telling me that he loves me and will never dump me no matter what unless I cause the breakup but that he takes exception to me going through his chats with people.
Since I returned to my base, we've been having strain on the relationship and I don't know what to reason from now despite his claims of undying love, I still feel so confused on what next to do in this situation. Is it really healthy for a fiance to keep refusing me to see what he says to people especially girls on social media??
Please help me urgently ma because I'm utterly disturbed. Thanks in advance for giving succour to troubled relationships

When a partner for whatsoever reasons fights his or her partner for going through his or her phones or any electronic devices, there's definitely something that he or she was hiding from you.
Infidelity begins with a subtle lies mixed with I love you endlessly and some form of privacy which is where the lies manifests the deception in the relationship or marriage.
While we encourage that partners maintain some level of respect for each other's phones but it's worrisome that many individuals cherish their electronics privacy much more than their private part and that makes one to wonder why that should be so.
Since he has been promising heavenly love for you, one of the ways to help you understand exactly what he's doing with other girls online is to help you understand who they are, what they do, where they are, how they are and what plans he's got for them or what he shared with them in the past.
While it's lovely to be engaged to him, it's wise not to rush into making a lifetime commitment with him when you are yet to figure out who he is and what his intentions truly are, how his past has been and what his future may look like.
You must understand that marriage is beyond a wedding ceremony, because it's a lifetime reality experience and most times when you do not take your time to pray and to examine your relationship and some of the danger signs of the relationship, you may end up a casualty in your marriage.
Please take your time and allow God to reveal some things that your eyes may not see today so that you can make a better decision on what's best for yourself and your future.

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