Monday, February 1, 2016

Mum's Worried about His Age!

Good evening ma. I really appreciate your gift of counselling to humanity. May God reward you immensely. Please I urgently need your advice. I'm 28 years old. There's this man I met on Facebook last year June. We got chatting as mere friends until November last year when he opened up to me that he likes me. That from the way I communicate online, I must be a good lady. He started telling me of his life history. He lives in US where he got married to a white lady. They have kids together but are divorced since 2010. The kids are by law with their mum.
2011, he came back to Nigeria and married a Nigerian lady who he told me that he loved so much but surprisingly enough the lady disrespected him and equally denied him of sex. Thus, according to him, the woman was only interested in money. So many things he told me happened between both of them. Later, in 2013, they finally separated and divorced without a child.
He came back last year December to see me. We finally met and he also came to my house in the village and met my mum. He even opened up to my mum that he was married before but divorced. He is in his mid 40's. I love him but the problem is my mum complained that he is so much older than I am and secondly how am l sure he won't marry me and dump me in Nigeria because he intends establishing a business in the country, which he will do before he goes back.
Please advise me on what to do and how to really know if he is for real. Thanks

Apart from where he stays and his relationship with his ex wives, what do you know about this man who is desiring to get married to you? Have you made your research and investigations? Have you found out more about his family, his personality, his personal relationship with God and his attitude to life and those around him?
It's great that he desires to spend the rest of his life with you but that's not enough for you to throw caution to the wind and forget that marriage is beyond the euphoria of being with a man but involves knowing the personality behind the handsome image and the positive impression.
You must make a detailed enquiries about his personality from those who knows him, and those who also knows about his past. You must ask questions and seek for clarifications concerning some of the things he said about his ex. It's understandable that his foreign ex wife left him but for his second wife to also divorce him, there could be more than what he told you.
What is his plans for you and the marriage? Is it to marry you and keep you in Nigeria to run his business or will he take you along with him? Are you comfortable with his past and willing to grow with him? And are you emotionally and mentally prepared to grow in love with him?
Have you prayed and sought the face of God concerning this and are you convinced that he is the man God has prepared for your happiness and fulfilment in life and marriage?
While your mother and others may have reservations about his personality and his intentions, the decision to either continue with him or not is solely yours and it would be wise for you not to rush into making a hasty decision to avoid disappointment and regrets much later in life.


  1. Aunt Amara you have answer it well.

  2. God bless u Auntie Amara.
    U have told her the truth

  3. 1st wife divorce, 2nd divorce u come tink say all e talk na true or na u go fit stay so u want to be wife number 3. GOOD LUCK OOO

  4. My dear they is more to it than what he has told u investigate him more thanks aunty Amara

  5. My dear they is more to it than what he has told u investigate him more thanks aunty Amara


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