Thursday, March 10, 2016

How Do I Convince my Parents to Accept Him?

Hello Madam,
Please I need your advise, I am a 24 (going on 25) Nigerian girl. I live in North America while my family lives in Nigeria. I come from an upper middle class background and presently I am a well to do health care professional at my base. I am presently with a Nigerian guy, (he is 31), who I met in Nigeria two years ago at a wedding. He lives in South America and is a business man who deals in foreign exchange, he is a graduate and a man of ambition. He does well in his business and takes care of me. My man is proposing marriage after two years of dating and I am accepting of his proposal.
However, my parents are quite uneasy about him. They have never met him but are against the whole thing because
1. He is a businessman (not an employee) and
2. He lives in South America ( not the most attractive continent).
Another final thing is that my parents think he is using me, (based on what they have seen from others like me) even though they have no proof at all.
I am coming down to Nigeria with my man for my parents to get a feel of him and show my respects by not eloping. I and my man are trying to build a future together and I am convinced that this man loves me for me and I love him for him.
How do I convince my mother to accept this man? Because my mom is the key to my dad. I know I should pray, I'm trying too but I get so discouraged sometimes. How do I convince my mother, how does he go about convincing her, how do I introduce him to my mom in a respectful manner. I am so confused on how to handle this.
I am an Igbo girl by the way in case any customary advice is considered.""

To start with, I want you to understand that your parents are not against your heart desire and happiness in life but they're only worried about your security and comfort in life. 
So take your time to investigate about his personality, his family and his vision in life. These are the core areas your parents would love to know about his personality. When you have your facts about his family with a particular focus to what his father and mother did and how he's making his legitimate earnings to his plans for you, your mother will be able to communicate your revelation to her husband. 
While coming, let him buy some delectable gifts, not something impressive but something unique and exceptional and something that your dad and mum cannot resist and on the day of his coming, he should come with that and with one or two of his elders from his village.
When he arrives, introduce him to your family and then stay aside and allow him to say what brought him to your family and allow them to interact and discuss while you prepare their lunch for them. 
When they need your presence, I'm certain that they will invite you. If after his visit, things aren't looking up, then you may need to involve an elder or a kindred that your parents will listen to and plead for his intervention. 
Hopefully, they will not frustrate you by ignoring your pleas and explanations and they will reconsider their perceptions of your partner and give you their blessings after they must have carried out their own investigations. 
In the end, always remember that the joy of every parents is to see their children in a safe and peaceful homes and not to give out their daughter to a man who will maltreat and humiliate their daughter. 
Commit everything to God in prayers and do not be discouraged by the concerns of your parents but be patient and discerning to know what God maybe revealing to them and avoid any loopholes that may affect your marriage in life. 

1 comment:

  1. Just be certain that he deals in foreign exchange not hard drugs. Anyway, he might not have lied. After all, hard drugs is an international business with forex as the medium of exchange. If you are very sure of what he really does and you believe that he's the ONE, follow AvL's advice.


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