Wednesday, March 23, 2016

I Might Abandon Her!

Dear Amara what do I do cause my marriage is about to crash? I married two years ago to a lady who seemed caring and loving unknown to me that she only used it lure me into marrying her. She changed automatically after she gave birth to the first issue.
Now she naggs at every slightest opportunity, I have tried my best to confirm from her what the problem actually is but she is not ready to talk. I might be abandoning her soon if she continues but would like to seek better advise first.

Thank you for considering counselling before taking any decision concerning the challenges of your marriage. It shows that you are not comfortable with what is going on in your marriage and you are willing to give your best to resolve the differences between you and your caring and loving wife. 
For you to have accepted to get married to her, there must have been some rare qualities that you saw in her which other ladies that you approached didn't have and I want to believe that those rare qualities convinced you to consider marriage and eventually got married to her. 
So I don't think that abandoning her should be an option for consideration knowing that she just gave birth to a beautiful baby who is your identity and your pride in life. She needs all the affection, patience, understanding, wisdom and sacrifices that she can get from you to help her raise your child in a loving atmosphere and also give your child the best now that (s)he needs her most. 
I may not tell what went wrong but for her to suddenly begin to nag about everything at every opportunity is an indication that there could be something that you were no longer doing in your marriage. Ants won't infest the table if there's no sugary food that invited them. I feel that she's reacting to something that she never expected from you or something she never knew about your personality which was why you see her nag and complain. 
So to help me understand your concerns and challenges, please if it's possible for you and convenient if with her, encourage her to write to me so that I can have a heart to heart discussion with her and hopefully understand what could have made a caring and beautiful wife of yours appear as though she's faking her personality. 
Until then, please do not relent in giving your best to her and her child, shower her with so much love and celebrate her for pushing your baby out and sacrificing so much discomfort to bring forth a healthy baby. Help her out when you are in the house knowing that she now have to be awake at night and in the day to breastfeed her baby and also meet your needs. Be patient with her if she can't do everything as she was used to, it's part of motherhood experience, assist her, compliment her, support her and pray for her. 
Raising a new baby comes with its own stress and challenges and it needs a supportive and considerate husband to ignore the weaknesses of his wife and love her unconditionally. 
So please encourage your wife to write to me, I'm hopeful that things will be sorted out and you will enjoy your wife.

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