Friday, March 11, 2016

I'm Not Comfortable with His Personality!

Good afternoon ma and everyone in the house! I have been in a relationship for about four years now. I'm in my mid 20's and an undergraduate. I love him and he does too. But the issue we normally have is about denomination,there are discrepancies in the belief system but he kept saying we will choose a particular denomination when we get married which we both agreed upon.
But I'm not really comfortable with some of his personal characteristics. He drinks once in a while, and he is not the church type, while I don't like even a drop of alcohol. I have been trying to let him understand the fact that I don't like it but he kept telling me it's just once in a while. The relationship kept going,recently I met my pastor and explained to him, he gave me reasons to quit because he may not allow me to live the type of life I want as a born again. I have been thinking of how to go about the situation but I was like let me allow the will of God to be done.
Recently he just stopped calling, I called on a particular day and he answered the call unlike him. I was still surprised. He called another day and I was busy he said he will call back. I sent him text when I was free he never called, I called him last night and asked what the problem was, he told me his instincts told him to stop calling for him to know how I will react or stuffs like that. Out of anger I just told him that I'm tired of the whole thing because I'm not gaining anything while he's not gaining too, just calls and he hardly gives(Only N3000)since I knew him that he has sent to my account. He does not even bother visiting, all these while he has not bothered to visit me in school.
He is a graduate and does not have a stable job now but at least he does some menial jobs. I'm not really concerned about not giving but at a time, I saw it from the angle that he is the stingy type. I told him the relationship is not growing any longer that if he is up to something he should let me know. He cheated once and sometimes I will be having issues with trusting him which I'm having the feelings now he will always tell me that such will not happen again that he truly loves me. He now told me that I have been sitting by the fence in our relationship before I ended the call. He never called till now. Please I need your advice ma and opinion of the house. Thank you ma.



He's actually right by what he said. Ever since you realised that both of you had spiritual incompatibilities, your passion and commitment for the relationship dropped and all you were looking for was an avenue to terminate the relationship in the name of "God's will".
Well the truth is, you don't manage what you don't appreciate and you don't invest in what you manage because you are convinced that someday it will collapse.
Since you were not comfortable with his personal relationship with God and you were not convinced with your agreement ever since your pastor suggested that you terminate the relationship, it would have been fair and honest for you to have told him the truth and your decision instead of delaying the inevitable.
It's also wise that you don't agree to marry a man you hope will change his place of worship because the hope maybe dashed after wedding and your spiritual nourishment is the most important thing you must not trade for marriage because it will affect all other areas of your marriage.
Since you're at this spot and you are not convinced or comfortable with his personality, kindly let him know your decision and move on.
There's no long sermon in an evening song so don't waste your time trying to fix what you're not convinced of or comfortable with and trust God for your own husband.

2 comments:

  1. My dear girl,
    Please hold your shoes in your hands and run as fast as your legs can carry you! This is not a relationship that you're in. Its a waste of your precious time and energy. Pls look else where and ask God for wisdom and your right man will surface. Take care

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear girl,
    Please hold your shoes in your hands and run as fast as your legs can carry you! This is not a relationship that you're in. Its a waste of your precious time and energy. Pls look else where and ask God for wisdom and your right man will surface. Take care

    ReplyDelete

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