Tuesday, March 29, 2016

She Doesn't Consider my Opinion!

Good day ma and happy Easter celebration. I have been an ardent follower of your educative and insightful counsels. May God grant you grace to continue the good work.
I am a young man of 33 years old in a relationship with a girl. We have learnt to a large extent how to manage our disagreements, but I have two problems.
(1) She is catholic and I am pentecostal. We are planning to get married and she insists we get married in her church. I agreed, but my problem is she would rather want me to join her in attending her church or we continue to attend separate churches after wedding. She doesn't see any church outside hers as worth attending. She has even gone as far as insinuating that our kids will go to her church.
Please what do you suggest?
(2) She insinuates her sister would stay with us immediately after wedding. While I used to think that new couples should have some time of their own after marriage before accommodating people. I love this girl but most times she considers my view on matters to be too archaic. Please ma, help me to know what to do.

Marriage is not the same thing with feminism. In feminism, a lady can decide what she wish for herself and how she chooses to live but in marriage, she must learn to work with her husband, agree with her husband and submit to the leadership of her husband for the marriage to succeed as God has ordained it.
You must state your convictions about the place of worship clearly to her and both of you must agree on where to worship before getting married to each other. There is no need tempting the sleeping lion because it may consume you. Both of you must iron out where both of you and your children will worship, if she's not comfortable with your current place of worship and she's not willing to suggest any other place of worship apart from Catholic, and you know within your heart that you are not comfortable with worshiping in Catholic Church, please terminate the relationship and bid her goodbye.
When it comes to spiritual compatibility, please do not ignore anything that will be a challenge some time in your marriage because it will affect all other areas of your life and marriage.
When it comes to who visits and who will stay with you after wedding, it must be by mutual agreement with you before she can bring anyone, and in any case where she's not willing to work with you, then such a suggestion should not be considered.
From the tone of your message, I am afraid that you may be getting married to a feminist whose intentions is to suppress and rule the affairs of your home and life. Please do not ignore these signs of her attitude to avoid regrets and lamentations in your marriage.
You need a lady who believes in your personality and considers your opinions even when it may not be the best. You need a lady who considers your feelings and respects you in all her decisions. You need a lady who will not struggle to submit to your leadership and communicate with you without attacking you unnecessarily. I hope that she hasn't kissed some common sense out of your brain because you would not say that you are blind to her domineering attitude.


  1. I totally agree with ma'am Amara.
    There's no way you can marry judging by your write up.she's a feminist. Marriage should not be a one way traffic.i don't see o being happy with her for a long time. Has she considered your feelings too?and she's already dishing out commands. If she can't work with you its still safe to disembark the journey now than to be sorry.

  2. Lols...hehehehe...Mommy Amara u r just hilarious....advice on point as usual....but I want to point out something ba....i am a control person too...to an extent I wud say am a feminist....but no way on God's earth do I take all those things close to my rlnship...infact I tend to agree with him on almost everything...#sometimes I hate that he's mostly right...my point being...dear poster u need to take a step back...and watch carefully...she may just b using d manipulative tool...for reasons best known to her....

  3. my dear think twice b4 u go on, i just wonder the kind of love ppl clam to be while dating, and after marriage their eyes will open and they start regrating, 0ne of the roles of a man in marriage is leadership if u cant lead ur home ur not a man, and if ur woman cant be submissive then be ready for more wahala in the marriage,so sit and deiced what u want in ur marriage now b4 going into it.

  4. Guy, I am a babe. Run!!!
    U might end up sad with.this kinda babe.

  5. Guy, I am a babe. Run!!!
    U might end up sad with.this kinda babe.


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