Thursday, March 10, 2016

Should I Open Up Before Marriage?

When you are in love with someone and you see that the relationship is getting to a more serious level, please try as much as you can to let that person know the real you.

Why lure someone into marriage with deceit? This is a man or woman who will spend the rest of your life with you. This is a foundation you are going to live on the till death comes calling. A building with a faulty foundation is bound to collapse someday. When you tell that one lie, you keep lying to cover it up.

A man, sometime in 2013, contacted me regarding his wife. They were married for just six months when the man found out that everything the lady told him was a lie. She claimed to be a graduate of UniBen; she wasnt even a graduate. She claimed to be 34 when she was 38, two years older than the guy. Well, I did my best to keep them together, I thought it my efforts were yielding results until the man woke up one morning to tell me not to bother myself as he just couldn't get his heart to love or trust her again. The marriage ended.

Another lady, in 2011, contacted me regarding her traditional marriage that was called off. She dated this guy for three years and didn't think it right to let him know about her daughter in her hometown. The guy found out after introduction and his family turned against the lady. It took months of battle with the family, prayers, and counseling for this man and his family to have a change of mind. Well, God spoke to them through me and it was resolved. I was at their wedding. Today, they are blessed with twins, one named Amara.

If you had a sexually transmitted disease which led to you being impotent because it wasn't treated, please let her know ahead of time. Don't use church to cover up your impotency only for her to discover on your wedding night that you can't perform. If your womb got damaged as a result of health issues or abortion, please talk about it before marriage. Let him or her love the real you and not what you pretend to be. If you have a baby somewhere in your hometown, please let him or her know.
I plead with you in God's name, be very open about these things and know that anyone who truly loves you will stand by and with you and not walk away. But if that person walks away, it saves you the future heartache. 
We all want different things in life and if what that person wants cannot be found in you, let him or her take a walk early enough to help you come in contact with someone who wants you.

Hiding your true state will also make him or her "pray amiss". I believe in the power of prayer and the ability of God to do that which no human can comprehend. Damaged wombs have been replaced miraculously by God. God heals impotence. But if you hide it from your spouse who should be the closest person to you, there is a problem. When you are truly one, God finds it easier doing miracles in your home.
Don't start what you cannot finish. 

Don't complain about your spouse acting funny some years into marriage. He or she will certainly change for the worse if the wrong foundation is laid. Better to lose that relationship now than lose the marriage later.


  1. Truely said... Eziokwu. Anyone who genuinely loves you will be with you against all odds as long as you are always open and no skeleton in cupboard

  2. Correct Ma'am. Very Correct. I would however emphasise that Timing is everything. Don't go telling every Dick (Dora) and Harry(Harriet) you start dating. Disclosure should be when you are certain that this dating relationship is about to become serious.

  3. You tell only when you are in a genuine relationship. You may let him fall in love first before telling, and this where timing is important. If your timing gets wrong, someone would be disappointed. Timing must be spiritually inspired.


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