Thursday, March 3, 2016

Should I Settle for Any Man?

Good evening ma, I really would like this to be published. I have been reading your advise to others and I felt you could have a word to elevate my spirit. I have dated a guy for five years and during my law school we were talking marriage. Since I refused to get married in school, we had to leave it till my law school period. I am a catholic and premarital test...for genotype, blood group and HIV.
April 2014 he didn't call as he had always done for the past five years. I called and he told me he had something urgent to discuss with me. When I finally got to Warri from Enugu law school, he told me that he did his tests and he was HIV positive. I was asked to come to the general Hospital Oleh to do my own test and I tested negative since we never had sex for the period of our relationship.
I wanted it to be pure and worthwhile. Since from the beginning we had always talked marriage he knew my mum and had indicated interest to marry me, I was entirely faithful to him.
My introduction was already fixed and I just forged a story to cancel the introduction. He was devastated I didn't want to let go, I stood by him for one year. I knew fully well that my parents will never give me their go ahead. I finally let go December last year.
It was horrible he was everywhere in my head the only thing I remember him for is his love and tenderness.... He was very loving. It breaks me when I think of his words saying that that was how my love can go?
I have tried to move on but is like no one reasonable seems to be coming forth, my heart is not at peace. My extended family blames me for chasing him away with my law degree, some even say I want a millionaire.

I really loved him, I knew I had to let go but it seemed my life was placed on hold when he confessed to me that he had sex with about three girls in the cause of our relationship

It has been from one mess to one nonsense and it is just like my head wants to explode
My younger friends are getting married and most times an ungodly thought comes to me to just choose anyone even the ones that I am not okay with.... My life has taken a different turn.

Remember that the careless lifestyle of your ex lead him to contracting HIV infection and no matter what you felt for him, it was a reality that you couldn't cope with hence your decision to let go.
It doesn't in any way mean that you don't love him, for you to have invested five years of your life nurturing the relationship in all faithfulness and selfless devotion was an evidence that you truly cherished and loved him but he felt that he could play around and get married to you much later which was what brought the infection today.
It's not in my place to criticise him but you must understand that you never offended him by deciding to move on but you did that in good conscience and spirit.
Forgive yourself and release him from your heart. This is all you need to do for you to meet the man who truly loves your heart and personality.
Do not let the relationships or marriages of your friends push you into getting married to a man who will make your life miserable and terrible. It still pays to wait upon God and allow him to perfect that which he has already promised you from the very beginning of life.
Everyone may not understand and you owe them no explanation but commit everything to God and do not panic or worry about your marriage because God is still faithful to reward you for your faithfulness and devotion to your relationship.




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  2. Hello. What if he is negative? Would ve married him even if he confessed to having sex with three different girl? If the answer is yes then you can still do something about it. I have HIV and I have been married to my wife for 10 years and she does not have it and our 4 kids are free and we are living as a happy family. I was treated when I got it for 2 years and my viral load dropped to less than 20ml which means I cant give to anybody again through any means. We live as if HIV does not exist and I have never been sick in that 10 years not even malaria! My immune is even stronger than a normal person's all depends on you and your understanding of life.

    1. Come anonymous, am not disputing the fact that he has HIV but how can give someone your life for 5 years and still cheated then you still want it. What if it was the gal that have HIV will the guy accept to marry her.Is her life she should choose what she wants.

  3. U should be grateful to God that u weren't effected with the virus, rather than complaining. It's never too late to get married. Yr anxiety will hurt you, if u aren't careful. Calm down and pray to God to give u a better guy. However, I advice u to send me a message (inbox),so that I can introduce you to my younger brother who's currently searching for a wife.


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