Monday, March 14, 2016

Should We Go for a Secret Marriage?

I and my boyfriend were in secondary school together next were very close like brother and sister until our twelfth grade year we felt in love with each other and then we started dating.. After graduation I got to know he just had a kid, when I heard that I was disappointed in him and he came back saying it's a lie for that issue of child business we been off and on in our relationship till when he travelled to the western world he called me, began saying sorry that he lied to me but he got a child, he said he never wanted me to feel bad and leave him that's why he said that he doesn't have a child but he wanted me to forgive him so we can move on with our life cause he left his child's mum long time and then I agreed and later joined him to the western world..
I was living with my aunt but she threw me out and he stood by me by taking me in his house, his family embraced me as time passed by his uncle said I should leave their house and he told his uncle my gril friend can't leave your house without me going with her.. Either you're putting me out too with her or she stays and one day I came from school my things were outside the house that's how my boyfriend packed his things from the his uncle's house too and followed me and later he called one friend for us stop by.
In short aunty Amara he said he wants to marry me but he doesn't want anybody to the know not his family nor my family and I shouldn't carry his last name cos we in western world is not forced to carry your man's last name.

He came on a visiting visa which of course he doesn't have document but I have mine..thinking it's not because of that. Want your response amara Van lare

He's the only man I have ever known in my life, after his uncle put me out he helped me a lot I blessed God for that.

In as much as he has been instrumental in your progress in your life, I still feel that it would be safe and healthy to at least inform your families about your intentions and vision for your relationship.
Letting them know is also very important because he would need to present himself to your family and fulfill the family, and cultural obligations before going on with your marriage. This is where western culture won't save you and also where you can't adopt their culture and ignore your roots.
While both of you work on getting married, I may suggest that both of you work on having a relatively stable life, an accommodation and some form of income generating job so that both of you can meet up with the demands of the present day activities.
Also work on helping him get a document and extending his visa to avoid the law enforcement agencies from deporting him.
I encourage you and your partner to entrust everything to God in prayers, involve your families and allow God to guide your footsteps in all your endeavours.


  1. Sincerely, 'heeeeee!' came out of my mouth after reading.
    Amara how did u comprehend this?
    Couldn't finish this. Sorry poster...#walks away

  2. Sincerely, 'heeeeee!' came out of my mouth after reading.
    Amara how did u comprehend this?
    Couldn't finish this. Sorry poster...#walks away


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