Monday, March 14, 2016

I Hate my Mum!

Hi aunty Amara... I am a young woman that have come of age and I have a man who my soul, my spirit and my body cherishes. He is everything I need in a man. I am an only daughter from Imo and he is the only son from Enugu. We love and cherish each other, praying that our love will end in marriage. It's been two years of relationship but the problem started when my mum found out that am dating him just because she hated were he came from(Nsukka).
She started saying disguising things about him, his local village and he's not buoyant that he was too poor to take care of me even to extent of him hearing it from one of his brother what my mother said about him.
He felt the pained and complained bitterly to me how he felt.. I cried, pleaded with him not to let this come in between us, that no matter whatever she has said to you please leave it between God and her. While all those problems where going on I still kept praying to God to please bless him so that those who hated him will be ashamed when they see he has given him comfort and help...
Just last week he called and told me he is not longer interested in the relationship because the pressure from my mum was too much for him. I cried and begged him all to no avail. My world came crashing on me because am just alone, my heart is broken, memories of him still lingers in my heart even while I still get other men admires, my heart, soul, body, and spirit still loves him.

As it stands now I don't know how I see my mother. She did that just because of the quarrel she was having with a woman that came from that side and just hated my love with no reason even to the extent that she biased my father's mind towards this. I feel hatred for my mother because she ruined my happiness just because she hated where my man came from and told him how poor, and local he was that made him cry and break up with me.
I wish he never heard that from my mother ... I wish he will remember my love for him and we unite back again....
Please aunty help me..

Your mother's choice or words may not have been the best but I feel that he may have said all those things as a result of the perception she had for Nsukka town in particular. 
This is perceived as a town where any wayward wife gets mad according to their tradition and some other cultural perceptions of the town like Ori Achicha and the likes which is peculiar to Nsukka community. 
This could be the reason why she was simply hostile to his intentions to marry you. But I feel that if your partner endured just a little longer and stood up irrespective of your mother's perception and unpalatable words about him, maybe your mother might have changed her mind towards him and considered him or he could have sought the commendation of your father who was the weaker link here and could have been convinced if you spent more time with him and not with your mother. 
Be that as it may, all hope is not lost yet, you can still schedule for a date and have a heart to heart discussion with him. Instead of hating your mother, you can excuse her and not allow her perception to intoxicate your vision to settle down with the man that you love and cherish. 
You can go through your elders and leaders in your community who you are comfortable with and have a greater influence on your parents for them to put heads together and chart a way for your happiness. By the time they count some good wives who were from Nsukka, they will have a rethink and bless your relationship. 
A man who has found his wife and eternal treasure won't give up just because of the perception or opinions of others but will explore every other alternatives to convince anyone that the place of origin and personality of an individual is never the same. 
Be patient a bit and give him some time to gather his mind and really decide on the future of the relationship, if he's genuinely convinced that he cannot continue with the relationship, then you may decide to move on and allow God to heal your heart and bless you with the partner of your heart desire. 
I know that you are bitter and pained already but please do not permit the spirit of hatred against your mother but remember that she's only human who has flaws and deserves God's mercies and grace to be better in her journey. Pray for her and ask God to reveal his love and wisdom to her so that your mother will be better than she was in the past. 


  1. Anty amaka tnx 4 d advice i really gained from it as her situation is similar to mine just pray that God should touch the mind of our parent and see the good in our partners, atimes God used our parents to save us future heart problems so keep on praying i know is not easy but God knows the best for us may he fulfilled our hearts desires by providing a better replacement that will love and care for us even better than our previous partner the one our parent will approve of.

  2. God please hearthis prayer and grant them their request.

  3. How can we have a country of our own when hatred run deep in the heart of every igbo person against his or her people because of the part they come from. Amara is a party to this evil approach and hope she close all this fraudulent channels she is using as an a forum to spread her bias mind.


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