Sunday, April 10, 2016

How Do I Win Her Heart?

Good morning ma... I've been reading your good hand works here and it has been helping me to avoid such mistakes..... I'm very grateful to God to have made someone like you here on earth.... Now my own stories and problems......
There's this girl I met when am doing my NYSC last year in a friend's company and fell in love with her later on a long run. She's just 19 and I'm 29 now. We fell in love and started dating for some months now. She have been very caring, loving and truthful to me all this while till after my service year, I went back to my place of residence. She still took the risk to pay me a visit twice. Within me, I've decided to end with her if God permits. I have introduced her to my friends and they all enjoyed her company.
Now, one day, I came for business transaction in their side which I told her and she promised to come and see me at the location where I am cos I'm going back that same day immediately, but unfortunately when I was through and have not heard from her, called her many many times but all to no avail, I angrily went back home waited for her calls throughout the night but never called back. In the morning I annoyingly sent a silly message to her, insulted and told her it's over since she took me for a fool.
When she saw the message, she tried calling back but I didn't want to pick, she went to my friend's house then close to her crying and complaining to him what I did and what went wrong, saying the father had an accident where he went to work that's why, that she was with him all through. So we later apologised to each other and moved on. I later travelled out of the country now which we met and I told her, she promised to always love me but we had another problem when she travelled to Lagos for an ashebi without telling me and I called the previous day which she didn't pick until I called the next day before she told me..
I told her she should be carrying me along in this relationship but she doesn't. My most annoyance is that she went there and spent a whole one week, she doesn't show care or try to flash me again only if I call. I had quarrel over her long staying for just for a neighbour's brother wedding. I shouted at her on phone, had serious quarrel which she told me she broke the phone I gave to her when I shouted at her on phone. We no longer chat cos she doesn't have social phone for chatting... I later begged for reconciliation which we later reconciled...
But since then, she no longer show care and love again; she no longer try to flash my line or even text a message... I'm the only one doing that. She never feel bothered nor ask me how am ferring or how do I survive let alone what I do here.. I truly love this girl and intend to end up with her anytime I return but all this are happening now which is paining me often.. What should I do about this to win her love back dear? Does it mean she have another person in her life now that she no longer care about me or what?


I cannot tell whether she's with you or with another man but I can tell that you need to work on your emotions and learn to manage your feelings instead of overreacting before finding out what happened.
From your first reaction when her dad had an accident to your scolding and nagging when she attended a wedding, you allowed your emotions to gain a better part of your personality which was what made her react in the manner that she did.
Start by apologising for your actions and attitudes towards her and give her some time to heal and recover from the shock and the trauma of your attitude before you can start wooing her.
You must understand that long distance relationship is both demanding and challenging and you must learn to give her some benefit of doubt and trust for both of you to achieve the purpose of the relationship. You must invest in communication using every means that both of you can access so that she will always have you at the back of her mind that you care about her.
Don't press so much or push so much, don't control her as though she doesn't have a life to live but take your time and patiently let her know the depth of your love for her. Three to six months is enough to detect whether she's with you or with another but in all be hopeful and patient with her and allow God to perfect the desires of your heart.

3 comments:

  1. MR MAN...PLEASE LEAVE THAT YOUNG GIRL ALONE NOW. HABA...LET HER FOCUS ON HER STUDIES. YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR HER. NA WA OOO. I DON'T KNOW WHY SOMETHING LIKE THIS SHOULD BE SUPPORTED. IF YOUR I9 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS DATING A 29 YEAR OLD MAN, WOULD YOU BE HAPPY? PLEASE GO DATE A MORE MATURE LADY.

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  2. Mr many,many times well done!
    I wonder how Amara was able to comprehend this write-up cos I lost it while reading.
    Biko leave this little child alone, I am not even sure she is 19yrs, yet.
    Happy ya aka biko na oyibo gi a ga egbu the little luv she ever had for u.

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