Wednesday, April 6, 2016

I Feel It's Time to Quit!

Thank you so much ma for your love and help towards us all. My issue goes thus: I met my guy when I was in my second year in the university and he was in his finals in 2011. I am in my early twenties and he is in his early thirties. We are both of the same profession, though am yet to get a place for my housemanship.
Distance came into place about three years ago. I was still in school but I knew communication is the key. I buy cards like a worker, I buy gifts and try to make moments memorable. Gradually, he started changing. Along the line I lost my dad, and my mum became my all. Despite my guy was working, he barely support, still I never complained because I believe I was giving him time to stabilise himself and thought we are supposed to be sensitive to each other..
He said that the Bible said if one wants something that he/she should ask. Ninety-nine point nine percent I do, he doesn't respond. Times I needed money for accommodation, project, he didn't say anything. I don't ask him money for upkeep because he will always forgets.. Later on, in discussion, he will say that he borrowed his friends money and they don't want to pay. I felt bad because this is someone I can go outside my way to do things for and this is what he is doing to me.
Am not blowing my trumpet, but am a beautiful girl, when I come out, his family and friends will be praising him and I just smile. The little I get from my siblings and friends, I put it in use in a scale of preference, and then communication started dying. I will call and say things are not OK in this relationship and he will say 'I will change, and the change barely survives four weeks'.
Last year, at times, it takes twenty-four hours sometimes seventy-two hours to return my calls. In all this, his parents will call to check on me, I still kept calm. When I call him, you will think he is talking to just anybody, he is so formal! I told him I was coming to visit last year, he called me early that morning that he had a dream of accident that I shouldn't travel, that he will call later to give me the details but he never did.
I am tired, I never thought a man can treat me this way.. I can't remember the last time he even complimented me but I never stopped complimenting him. When he calls, he asks after everyone and then ends the call. Pride has so much gotten in to him. I have spoken times without number and just one thing he will say, "I need a good job right now, I need to set up business", and then I wonder if he can't be faithful now, is it when he has so much he will?
I like to do my things myself but is it ideal in marriage especially when am now working? Everything is all about him. I meet a lot of people especially because of my profession still I had my heart for one man. when I talk or ask of things, he tells me he has so many things in his head and so he forgets. He makes me feel am not understanding and considerate. Never has he sat down to say, let's talk about this relationship.
People see it to be perfect from the outside and on the inside I am struggling. Am tired and I've stopped calling for sometime, still he acts like everything is normal and calls when he can. I feel it's time to move on. Please I need your sincere advise. Am sorry for the long write up, I just needed to express myself. Thank you.

Indeed you have tried and anyone who is in your shoes will admit that you have given your heart to the relationship. I understand that medical profession can be demanding and at the same time energy consuming but I still feel that it's not enough reason for him to treat you like a dust on his shirt. 
You seem to have been the one wooing him, pursuing him, seeking to love, to care, to appreciate, to communicate, to understand and to support him, while he was relaxed enjoying the attention that the pretty lady was pouring on him. 
He's so busy that he doesn't even communicate deeply with you, he suddenly have so much to do that he rarely have any time for you and he has suddenly become a dreamer who can predict when there will be an accident in a bid to scare you away from coming to see what he maybe hiding from you. 
In all sincerity I'm tempted to say that you should move on with your life, but I feel that it's not what you want to hear from me now. 
So to help you, forget about calling him and telling him your plans, plan for a seven days trip to his place of work and organise yourself so that you can have somewhere to lay your head and also have time to meet with him. 
See things for yourself and brave your heart for the inevitable. From his body language, I'm afraid to say that there could be someone else in his life (please don't believe me, it's just a feeling). 
The way he really treats you is disgusting and depressing for a lady who have given her all for the relationship. But encourage yourself and take the bold step to redefine this relationship with him, sit down with him and talk things through so that you can know your place in his life and then decide what's best for you at this point in your life.

1 comment:

  1. Pleaseeee you're worth more than how he treats you. You deserve someone who values you and treats you like a queen. Leave while you have the chance now and don't look back my dear


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