Thursday, May 26, 2016

Can't Release my Son to His Father!

Good morning ma, I'm a single mother of 26 years old. A native of Ekiti. I just need you and the Avlites to assist me shed light on something that has been bothering for a while.
My baby father that abandoned me and his son who happened to be our first fruit for over a year. He never looked back to show any sign of care and I've tried to move on with my life even though it was hard.
Is it possible for him to come back and claim my son by law??
Note: No engagement or wedding between us.
I overhead it where he confidently discussed with someone that he is coming back for his son when he is ready that is only if DNA confirm he is the father.
I've argued with a friend that it's impossible, but my friend reminded of an adage that says 'Baba omo lo lomo'
I don't want to become a stranger to my son after all my suffering over him and thanks to my mum who has been assisting me to cater for my son's needs, she paid his school fees.
Please advise me, I don't want to release my child, he is my joy, my hope, my tomorrow.
I thought if the father chooses to take the case to court, the court will decide that the child should still be in care of his mother and when he is 18 years old he can then decide on who to stay with. I really love my son and I can't imagine me releasing him to his father's family that never wished me well.
In addition ma, when is the right time to tell a guy that just asked me out that I'm a single mother??? And is there any hope of settling down with the right partner??? I noticed young guys of nowadays easily turn down single mother.

Some men will not consider single mum because they're not mentally prepared to taking the responsibility of another man's son. For some it might be because they're afraid of the possible challenges that might arise from integrating your son with his children. Some also fear that since the son has a father who is responsible for him, there's a possibility of the man coming back to claim his son, or for an avenue to be with his son which can also be an opportunity for the mother to be with the father of her son and likely have sex with him. For some, it's the family's opinions and perceptions that scares them away from getting married to single mum. But when a man who God has prepared for your life meets with the you in you, there's no reason, or perception or opinions or conclusions of anyone that will prevent him from settling down with you. You need not be afraid to tell anyone who cares to know more about your journey that you are a single mum or allow the opinions of some men to make you feel worried about your personality and your journey in life. Tell anyone who cares enough to know you about your son and leave him to decide whether to continue with you or to move on with your life.
As for the right of custody, his father can actually come back to claim your son as the father, but that doesn't mean that he has the right to limit you from having equal access to your son irrespective of where he chooses to stay or what he feels about your personality.
The good news is that if you have genuine evidence why your son cannot be released to be with his father, case of being irresponsible, living a reckless life, threat to life and peace of mind of your son, mental or psychological challenges or any other valid evidences that can prove beyond every reasonable doubt that he cannot take the custody of your son, the court will not grant him the custody of your son.

1 comment:

  1. Yes he can come back to claim the boy doesn't mean he is going to succeed. The fact that you have been the primary carer of your son is a valid enough reason for the court not to grant him custody. He is a stranger to your son as it stands and I don't think any judge would uproot a child from the only family he knows and take him to another family. My advice is this when the father make the move get your self a a good family lawyer. The only ground on which he can take the boy from you is if there a evidence of neglect on the boy or if you are not mentally stable. It takes more than a DNA test to claim a child. Don't be afraid continue taking care of your son nothing go happen. Moreover he has not been providing for the boy.


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