Sunday, May 29, 2016

He Consumes Alcohol!

Dear Aunty Amara, please accept my condolence on the death of your dad, may his gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Please, I need your candid advice on an issue.
I am a lady of 29 years old dating a guy of 32 years old, the problem I have is that he consumes alcohol so much, at least he cannot do in a day without taking at least four bottles, this i'm not comfortable with.
I have tried talking to him about the economic and health implications but he would not listen, I even went to the extent of telling him about liver problems and diabetic aspect of it, but he still seem adamant. Please what can I do?

One fact that you must have at the back of your mind is that no individual or entity can change or force an individual to change or talk an individual into changing his attitude or personality. 
People only change when they're convinced of the need for a change and convictions is spiritual and never persuasive. You may say anything, do everything within your capacity to help him understand but until he's convinced beyond every reasonable doubt that your information and opinions were not to control him or to punish him, he may only pretend to change when you're around and go at your back to drink as always. 
They're many school of thought that encourages alcohol consumption, some say as long as they don't consume in excess, it's good, some say that the body needs alcohol, some say that a man will die someday so it doesn't matter what kills him and some don't believe that alcohol is harmful to the health. 
I will begin from the basic, alcohol is a fermented glucose and what it means is that anyone consuming alcohol is already consuming so much glucose in his system and I need not tell you the side effects of excess glucose in your body. 
For men, alcohol affects their penis performance, it makes them not to have a sustained erection which will definitely affect their performance during sexual intercourse. 
Anything consumed in excess definitely affects the liver, and because there's always the tendency for alcohol to be abused and consumed in excess, the liver works harder to balance the effect of the alcohol which is why you see the individual staggering and walking half conscious. 
Psychologically, alcohol makes men feel high and perhaps excited, so you will see them speaking with queen's English and with the confidence in the alcohol woo any lady and conquer the world but in reality the hormones, and the vital organs is struggling to balance the effect of the alcohol. 
Because of the psychological effect of alcohol, a man who drinks is closer to cheating on his wife and closer to being influenced by his friends into smoking or engaging into any vice that they agree to. 
The psychological and hormonal changes as a result of alcohol consumption can make the man beat his wife and do some things that will marvel your life. 
Why am I explaining all these, you might ask. I'm painting the possibility of getting married to a man who is addicted to drinking and may not change any time soon, so that you can weigh your options and decide whether you can cope with him and his personality for the rest of your life. 
Of course I believe that he can change and he can someday quit drinking and have a divine encounter with God, but what I can't tell you is how long you might need to put up with his drinking habit. So if you know within your heart that you cannot manage this aspect of him for as long as he wishes to, kindly bid him goodbye and trust God for your own husband. 
Don't go into married hoping that your presence will change the addictions of your partner because you will be disappointed and frustrated in your marriage.


  1. Dear,since he is not even showing any remorse,and/or willingness to change,I don't think it is safe for you to continue with the relationship. Please,run for your life and save yourself from future anguish and regrets. He is not ready to be a husband nor a father yet. #qdDOWNLOADS
    Get help@

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