Wednesday, May 11, 2016

How Do I Overcome this Betrayal?

Thank you for the good work ma. I have a lot going on in my life and also a lot on my mind but I want to cut it short. Am married with two kids but found out my husband is a cheater after our first child. He never acted like he is a cheater, what I mean is, he is sweet ,caring,sleeps home always but I never knew that the little time he doesn't come home maybe he has to visit his grandma with bad health or working late was actually lies.
He was in the arms of another woman who thought he is single without kids. He actually brings this lady to sleep over in our house when am out of another town. Am so devastated that I don't know who to speak to. If I should let my family know, their solution will be to immediately leave my husband's house with my kids but am not sure if it's the right decision to make cause of my kids.
The lady got pregnant and aborted it but she sent me the pictures my hubby took in her house when he slept over with no cloth on. Honestly I really don't think I can ever forgive him. It is just too much for me to handle. I don't want to take the wrong step because there are lots of people watching out and peeping to see the way am living so they can mock me most especially because am from a polygamous home.
How can a man call himself a father and husband when he actually took the time to keep my belongings and that of the kids because he is bringing a girl home and the funny thing is that he returned everything to its normal place before I got back. When I got home, I just felt something was different about the house and started to find out what it was before I knew he brought a lady home which I later found out it's not his first time.
We have been together for eight years and our first child is 3 years. How could he still do this to me? He begged and swore never to do it again but am disturbed because I did everything in my power to make him change. This was not his first affairs that I will have to deal with. I still have those pictures with me.
My main point now is how can I get rid of that feeling of being betrayed, how can I forgive him so I can live peacefully, is it the best solution if I take the bold step of leaving him? will I be a good mother to my kids doing that? Please don't tell me to tell his family, they are a great fan of his in anything he does.

It is quite humiliating and devastating for a man to bring another lady inside your matrimonial bed. I know that you are struggling with so may thoughts whether to leave him or stay back because of your children but the first thing that you need to consider is whether staying in the marriage will make you happy, have the peace of mind and the fulfilment that you so much desire.
Looking at your husband, do you still have any iota of love and affection for him and do you feel that both of you can overcome this phase of your marriage? Do you feel that continuing with him will destroy every fibre of love, trust, patience and understanding that you share with him? Do you feel that he will never change and as a result cannot continue with the marriage?
Do you feel that involving your family will bring a lasting solution to his infidelity and put to an end every form of lies and betrayal?
Whether you decide to stay or choose to give him some space so that both of you can work out ways and terms that will make your marriage work, your children will adequately be protected and be taken care of, but most importantly you need to be alive to give your very best for your children.
Please do not allow anyone or the perception of the society make you to continue in a dysfunctional marriage. Everyone has a limit to what he or she can endure and when you cannot cope anymore, kindly take a walk so that both of you can renegotiate your marriage and address the grey issues in marriage.
If you wish to give your husband some time to make amends, please decide within your heart to forgive him and hope that he will at least respect your emotions and quit cheating on you. What your husband needs is divine intervention in his life so that he doesn't end up destroying your marriage and possibly contract sexually transmitted diseases from him.
Whether he needs prayers and intercession is not in doubt but if you are not in the right frame of mind to continue with him, kindly organise yourself and seek for counselling with him so that both of you can talk about his attitude. Where that isn't successful, you may need to reconsider going back home and giving him some time to decide what he want in marriage.


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    1. Dear katy Brown, it is so evil of you to post this here and to entice people to evil. The bible said "a wicked person entices his neighbor and leads him in a way that is not right". This is exactly what you are doing. The bible calls you a wicked person. You better repent before the judgement of God falls on you. The bible also says that "what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul, what can a man give in an exchange for his soul". One day in hell will wipe out all the enjoyment or money you think you had on earth. Please desist from your evil ways and stop enticing people to do evil. What you are actually doing is suggesting to them to go to the devil for solution to their problem. The bible said "shouldn't a man seek unto his God, while go to witches that murmur and mutter? Be very careful, for these are souls Christ died for. Why do you hate God(Christ) this much and what is your ultimate goal for doing this? I have handed you over to God for judgement until you repent of your evil ways.


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