Tuesday, May 24, 2016

I'm Dating a Squanderer!

Good evening ma. Condolence . I need your advice. The man I want to get married to spends money uselessly . We are planning our marriage and I don't think he has saved money for it. The faster he gets money the easier it is for him to spend it. He buys things he doesn't need. Imagine someone who doesn't earn much buying an handkerchief five pieces for N2500. I don't no how to cub his excesses.
As for me I think it is poverty mentality, maybe they couldn't afford what he buys now as they where younger that's why he want to act rich when he is not. We can't save money because he doesn't know how to save.
I complain anytime he enters a shopping mall. We have fought about his excessive buying. I even call him squanderer jokingly. I love him. He buys me things always as well. He says I don't complain when he buys me things but I do with other things. How do I help him please?

Now that you have spotted his weakness and financial recklessness, it will be wise for you to device means to help him manage his resources. Since you have a long term vision of getting married to him, you need to be an example of what you preach and advocate for him to do. 
You can't be complaining about his attitude towards financial management when you accept gifts and things that you actually don't need and complain whenever he buys anything else for himself. 
Suggest that he allows you to save his money for you, this will then mean that he will send some percentage of his earnings per month to your account for savings. It could be 70% or 60% while he manage the rest as his upkeep money. 
When you are planning wedding, you don't need anyone who wishes to impress you with gifts and the likes because of the huge task ahead of you. The task of feeding your family, planning your wedding, taking care of your family needs and individual needs and also meeting the needs of your immediate families.
These should help you or guide you in helping him maximise his resources and helping him to imbibe the culture of saving. Let him know through your attitude and skills that you can help him save from his meagre earnings. 
With discipline, maturity, wisdom and patience, I am hopeful that he will listen to your suggestion and at the same time allow you to help him to organise his life and manage his funds.

1 comment:

  1. In addition to what aunty Amara said, do not nag about it, and also get a plan B. Now is the time for you guys to decide how to manage finances, whether to have a joint account, or whether to be open about your finances. Be smart about money matters. While everyone may preach openness with money, I suggest you have a separate account he doesn't know about where you save for the rainy day. U can sit him down n lovingly discuss this issue, you guys can invest in a financial advisor. Dealing with an impulse buyer n shopaholic as a spouse isn't easy. One day u might discover that ur house has been sold to buy what u can't afford


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