Monday, May 9, 2016

She's Overstepping Her Boundary!

Good day ma, God bless you soo much for all your counsel and fervent prayers. May the lord continue to empower you the more.
Please I personally need your advise on this issue disturbing me now.
I have a sister-in-law I accepted into my home, since 2010 I married my husband, I have tolerated her excesses. We quarrel and I try as much as I can to resolve the issue so we can continue to stay in peace. Initially my husband made it look like I can't come in between him and his family but as time went on he began to see the true colors of his siblings especially when he saw that I can tolerate, still they were making plans to kick me out of the house when they took him to one prayer woman that told him I won't bear children and so many other things the woman told her about me which he said am not, all he did was stay away from that prayer house and stayed focused on God.
Now is like everything has gone out of hand because that her sister no longer respects him nor have any atom of fear for him. She can shout on the brother for two hours at any slightest provocation. I know my husband is taking all that nonsense because he doesn't want his people to see it like he chased the sister out because of me, secondly he always prayed to God to give him a forgiving heart and peace in his home as he is the pivot in his father's house.
The last incident that happened, the girl said she was leaving since I now dictate for my husband, whereas my husband was trying to correct her that she shouldn't challenge my orders when I ask the children I live with to do something. I live with my husband's elder sister's son of 15 years and my aunty's daughter of 10 years. So I asked the boy to throw dirt and fetch water while the girl should sweep and wash plates, but my sister-in-law said why should I ask the sister's son to throw dirt while the girl is around, I now asked her so it's proper for a 10 years old girl to go out in the night and throw dirt why the boy should sit and do nothing abi?
Haaaa this girl ran mad 😠,  started shouting at me, insulted me, all I did was to tell her that I know that all this trouble will end someday and she was like oooh I never see trouble when she hasn't started trouble. I had to tell my husband two days later when he was complaining of his siblings' behaviour, he confronted her, haaa see gobe, see shout, see insult, chai, it was a horrible night.
Afterwards, she left and reported to my parents in-laws but they pleaded on her behalf and we accepted her back. Since then I and hubby thread with caution because my parents In-law pleaded with us especially me to tolerate her that they know am a good woman who is rare to find....
Now what is eating me up is what happened this morning... A neighbour in the building we are staying did his child's dedication today and my sister In-law came and said casually to me that they wanted to use our big generator in the generator house but the man has been calling my husband but he's not picking, I was like if he called my husband and it didn't go he should have come to ask me if he can use the generator. So he should continue calling him till he answers. And I dressed and went to church only to come back and discovered that my generator was running even before I went out. From 8:30 am till this evening and my husband didn't relate to me if he gave them the consent to do so or not. I saw that as an insult on my side as my sister In-law now poses as the madam of the house that my neighbour did not consider it important to tell me he was using my generator.
Prior to that, she took the car keys without my consent to re-park my husband's car because the same neighbour needed space for canopy. And she can't even drive. Ma please I need wisdom to tackle this issue because I've had it up to where I can't take it again. And my husband went for the church program I wouldn't want him to come home tomorrow to meet trouble in the house. But this girl's tail needs to get cut, she is over stepping her boundaries!
Sorry for the long write up I just wanted you to understand my plight!

It is not in your place to challenge her or exchange words with her. Be noble and be firm and let your husband know that since his sister wishes to run the home, perhaps you need give her the space so that both of them can run the home together. 
She's abusing the privilege of staying with you and in all fairness and sincerity, she feels that she's independent enough to decide how your home should be, but I feel that she's indirectly threatening the peace and unity in your marriage which is enough reason to send her home or at best rent an apartment for her elsewhere. 
Please do not exchange words with her or fight with her for any reason, whatever displeasure, grievances and disagreement you have against his sister, please channel it to your husband and allow him to address this, whatever he feels is the best decision, kindly stick with it and like you said, someday, she will definitely leave your home. 

1 comment:

  1. Atimes is not only prayer that solves a problem,the same thing happened to me,my divorced sister in law after being rejected by her husband she packed into my home,then I was 8yrs childlessness,she did everything possible for her brother to turn against me,but my husband was always peaceful,he will console me to tolerate her,because my mother in law was the master planner n they wanted me to go by all means,then one night I couldn't take it anymore,her insult was too much so I fought her,aunty Amara come and see me that day it was as if the devil possessed me,she bit my nose and I bit her chin so bad that some of her skin came off,it was the neighbours that tore us apart,that night she took Okada to her mothers house n when my husband came back n saw blood all over me he broke down and to this I still remembered his word"this people has declared war and war I will give them".my husband brought out his through color,he gave his sister and the mother HELL and that was how they called everyone they know and started confessing pleading for sister in law confessed that it was their mother that asked her to make life unbearable for me so I can make a mistake n their brother will find a new wife.we forgave,and ever since to this day we have become best friends.And God finally Blessed me with a beautiful baby girl in my 15yrs of marriage.So aunty Amara I think atimes desperate measures calls for desperate action.I love you for your advises.


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