Saturday, May 7, 2016

Who Do I Believe?

Thank you mama for affecting lives and relationships positively, God will increase your grace in Jesus name. I wrote to you last year concerning a cheating husband who has been cheating constantly and denies at any given time(Read Here) . I prayed, fasted and even went for counselling. And sincerely there was improvement, he doesn't keep late night anymore, he comes back home everyday and he even started worshipping with me in my own church reason being that he slept with one of the chorister in their church and also impregnated her and denied not being responsible and the lady aborted the baby so I learnt of it and after much confrontation he said we won't worship in his church again because of that.
So he changed seriously, he confessed of all his waywardness and asked me to give him a chance to make our home a heaven on earth, he became very spiritual once again, he takes good care of my needs and that of my baby, in fact we became best friends and on my own part I stopped checking his phones and social media chats. Recently, a lady called that she wanted to speak with my husband, I was surprised to hear her say that my husband is her boyfriend, after much interogation and that he slept with her and promised to send her some money which she will use in taking care of herself, that he has been calling and disturbing her so she decided to check his phone that he saw my number and decided to find out who I really was (whether he is married or not), so I told the lady that he is my husband and that we have a daughter. I quickly uploaded our wedding picture on my WhatsApp, the lady then called back crying that she didn't know he was married that she is pregnant for him, that I should forgive her for sleeping with my husband.
I confronted my husband, he denied saying the lady was in need of money and asked him to help her, that he then asked the girl to come and meet him where he was and that was after work and after discussing everything he gave the girl his phone to see our daughter's photo, and that he told her he was not bouyant financially and that he need to consult his wife on that so the girl left and all those stories.
As am typing, I don't know what to think, what to believe and who to believe because the lady later called asking me to give her some money for abortion. I feel like killing myself, my question is who do I believe? What should I do? Thank you ma as I await your advice.

I could see some pockets of lies from all he said and there is little or no reason to doubt that he maybe responsible for the pregnancy. No lady wakes up to frame an innocent man of pregnancy if there was no sexual intercourse with the man.
A man who impregnated a lady, denied it and encouraged her to abort the baby, have not genuinely repented of sleeping with women but was doing cosmetic reformation to protect his image which you fell for.
Killing yourself will only take you straight to hell, bring down all that you have invested your life to build and expose your children to hardship and suffering in the hands of those you could have protected them against.
You won't throw away the baby because he defecated inside the water but you have to discard the mess and manage whatever is left.
I will encourage you to book a date with the lady and meet with her so that you can find out more about what transpired that lead to her pregnancy. Encourage her to keep the baby so that we can tell whose father he is.
Since your husband wanted to help her without informing you, I feel that now is the best time for him to help her and support her so that she can take care of herself and her baby while we prepare for the arrival of the baby.
Keeping the baby will definitely unsettle your husband but I will always encourage you never to be part of any form or kind of spilling the blood of an innocent child because it has both emotional and spiritual consequences.
When the baby has arrived, we can then examine the baby and tell who was telling the truth and who was deceiving you. Don't fight anyone, don't lose your guard or destroy your marriage. Maybe he needs a scar like this one to always remind him that infidelity, no matter how sweet is an evil pill that threatens the sanity of any matrimony.
We will continue to pray and ask God to help him and give him the grace to return back home and invest in his marriage.

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