Monday, June 13, 2016

A Lady got Pregnant for Him!

Good day our amiable counsellor, the wisdom of God will never depart from you. I am 30 years old lady married to a 36 years old man two years ago. He has been the kind of man any woman will ask for, he is caring in his own little way and make sure I lack nothing since I married him, even though we met through social network. I should not forget to tell you that his family are very nice and loving.
Since our wedding, we have been trying to conceive which left me devastated at times but my husband always put on unconcern attitude, which makes me open up to him that, why is he not concerned about our situation? He told me that he felt it as well just that he didn't want to show it so that I will not be disorganised.
Later he told me that a female colleague of his told him of a doctor who treated her while she had same challenges. I agreed to visit the hospital, but my husband kept on procrastinating the visitation. I later thought within myself that he didn't want us to go because of money (he is a federal government staff though lower cadre ), I volunteered to use my savings(which I suppose to use for my professional course ) and he agreed.
The first day I visited, he couldn't follow me because of work. The doctor told me the series of tests that I will do which I did, including Hydrotubation, and nothing was found wrong with me but my husband has refused to do the only test given to him(SFA). He said he knew that nothing was wrong with him, that if I don't believe him, I should allow him to try it with another woman, which I always frowned at any time he says it. There was one particular day I lured him to the hospital(the day I did my hydrotubation), but he couldn't produce sample (sperm), he kept on reminding me of how two women (more or less harlot) got pregnant for him and aborted it two weeks to our introduction (3/11/****).
I am the type that doesn't check my husband's phone, but my spirit led me to check it one day and I saw a chat to his girlfriend promising her that he can't leave her, that it's her busy schedule that makes him not to visit her. I confronted him on it and he apologised that he will break every ties between them. I checked his phone again yesterday and I saw the most shocking news of my life, a married woman got pregnant for him, and the woman told him not to worry that she will terminate it, his own reply was that if he has money, he would have asked her to leave the pregnancy.
Aunty Amara, right now I am not in my right sense, I don't know what to do. We have been maintaining a relationship of no third party since we were married, but this is beyond me. I am a devoted christian and I never lived a wayward life before we met. Why am I facing this?
I have prayed, fasted, but it seems I am destined to experience shame. I am a nursery school teacher earning stipend, I don't know where to go because I'm from a poor family. This cross is somehow too heavy for me ....
I await your response and that of your fans. Thanks.

Though I may not have genuine evidence to discredit the message that you read from your husband's phone, but it is still possible that the said woman only played on his intelligence so that she can milk him dry since she knew that he was looking for a child.  My reason is simple, if truly she was pregnant, you would have seen the wild part of your husband trying to protect her and destroy her marriage so as to be with her. 
If he's the number one striker that impregnated all the prostitutes known to him, he should have done the same with you but in all sincerity there's every possibility that he has a low sperm count and out of pride he has refused to humble himself and support you in your desire to have a child for him.
You need to sit him down and find out why he has decided to humiliate you and crush every atom of confidence in you. Find out why he's not willing to work with you and what he hopes to achieve by sleeping with a married woman and sleeping around. 
Since things have gotten to the stage where he's exposing you to sexually transmitted infections and diseases, you need to learn to protect yourself from infections, inform your family and also inform his family so that they can intervene in your marriage and talk to him. If that approach doesn't work out, then you may consider meeting with a mature pastor or a mature counsellor so that they will invite him and have a word with him and find out what he could be afraid of or worried about. 
One truth I know is that he's as worried about the childless issue as you but he feels that because he can achieve an erection, that you are the one who have issues with your body and as a result have resorted to sleeping around to see who will get pregnant for him. Unfortunately a low sperm count will never impregnate any lady irrespective of her hip size or the size of her breast or her complexion or her body size.
If you are not comfortable with living with him for now, then you may give him some space so that you can recover from the pains and disappointment of his attitude and also decide what you feel is the best decision for you now. 
I know that you earnestly desire to receive your own children, I will encourage you not to lose hope in God, but hand everything to him and hold unto his words even when things are not working as you planned it. 
I am hopeful that God will use any of those means to reach out to your husband and restore him to you. Please be strong and positive that God will remember your sacrifices of love and favour you with fruits of the womb in no distant future.

1 comment:

  1. It could even be a plot from his side so you can lose focused and stop troubling him


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