Monday, June 20, 2016

Why do Ladies Reject Me?

Hello madam, Good morning. Please I need your advice and that of your fans on this. I'm a guy of 32 years. I have dated many girls in the name of searching for who to marry and I've been disappointed by all. I have never for ones disappointed a lady or break up with them even when they are killing me silently.
No matter how caring I am, how much I pampered them or try to make things work, they always dump me to another in the end. The relationship will be smooth for like three months and they will just change suddenly and start cheating on me before leaving me for another or their ex boyfriend.
The worst part of it now is most of the ladies I approached these days always says they are in a real relationship, about getting married, I'm not interested etc.
Please I want to know if something is wrong with me. All I get back in loving is rejection, hatred and heart broken and I've prayed and fasted about this but still no change.
Almost all of them do apologize after some years when they realise I've never offended them in any way. Most of them confessed that I treated them and made them feel like a real woman that I'm the most caring guy they've ever met but they are struggling dating me which they don't know why.
Please advise me, I'm going crazy. Thanks.

For the fact that a lady is beautiful, gorgeous, and with all the shape that you desire doesn't necessarily mean that such a lady is emotionally mature for a relationship.
So you must first of all sit down and examine yourself, find out who you are, the kind of husband you desire to be, the kind of family that you hope to build, your vision and convictions as an individual, your values and virtues that you cannot compromise on and the kind of legacy you hope to leave in your marriage. 
This will then help you when you relate with the opposite sex on the platform of friendship. Avoid being the nice kind of man to ladies because no lady wish to marry a nice man for fear of deception and manipulation. 
A virtuous lady desires a real man, a responsible man, a focused man and a disciplined man. So instead of starting off being nice, caring and loving, be simply friendly and utilise the opportunity to understand the personality behind the beauty, the passion behind the sweet voice, the vision and the virtues of the lady before redefining the friendship. 
Avoid building your relationship on fantasies and endless promises, instead choose to be realistic, honest and sincere with any lady that you approach to avoid setting up a standard that you can't maintain for the rest of your life.
While some ladies can sincerely declare their relationship status, many ladies wouldn't do that, not necessarily because they want to lie to you but because they don't wish to be taken for granted or treated like a reject simply because they told you their relationship status. 
So don't just panic or lament or get worried when a lady says that she's in a relationship, it could be with her parents, siblings, God and the likes so maybe you should push a little further before concluding on her relationship status.
Don't let the perception of your ex partners make you feel that you cannot meet a lady that will love you selflessly and genuinely as you desire but use this opportunity to understand how ladies perceive things and how to win her heart without losing yourself. 
Be free, spontaneous, friendly and fun to be with. You can add a little surprises here and there and offer to help when it's necessary. Avoid making a lady feel like a property that can be bought over with gifts and money, not all ladies fall for that trick. 
Compliment her sincerely and get interested in her when she's available for a conversation with you, a date is good enough for you to begin a conversation with a lady. 
Be consistent and at the same time free with her and understand her moods and emotions so that you can know when it's best to talk about some things and the likes. 
Don't hide your values from any lady and please don't manage any lady simply because you want to be with any lady but take your time and allow your friendship to reveal some of her virtues and character traits so that you can decide whether she's really what you need or not.
If possible avoid sexual intercourse so that you can see clearly and decide honestly without any influence. 
God has answered your prayers by surrounding you with so many ladies, in your church, work place, environment, school, social media and community. You only need to take your time, listen, learn and give your heart to nurture the kind of relationship that your heart desires.
I trust that God will give you a partner that will give you a peace of mind, joy and fulfilment in all areas of your life and not just any kind of lady.


  1. Aunty Amara I want to appreciates your effort in mending relationships and marriages, may God bless you and family richly. I want to use this media to ask you whether you approve or support the above comment i.e using spear to call back once love hubby or wife because I do see comment you normally delete especially when it is not line.

  2. @ anonymous, she doesn't delete, sometimes people post multiple times in error, so those same people delete the extra ones


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