Monday, June 20, 2016

My Husband is Mad at Me!

Please ma I have a problem. I have been married for ten years. My mother-in-law and her children hates me with everything in them. Her reason is that I'm flashy, her son spends money on me, and ma believe me it's not so. Her son would go to them and act rich and come to me and we will drink garri to sleep..
I have begged him several times to stop giving people the impression there's so much money when there's actually nothing or making promises he won't be able to fulfill later on, and in so doing making people call me bad names.... So the problem now is this (because the mother swore that I must leave her son soon or someday whether I like it or not. Up to the extent that she doesn't pick my calls even after I have begged for her love and acceptance ) I told my husband that we should pretend I have left him because of how his people are treating me.
I composed a text and sent to them that I have left their son and brother o. I called my husband that the reason why we must do this is for acceptance. That by the time they hear that I'm gone and you go lamenting to them it's because of them I left the marriage, they will have a change of heart towards me and call me to make peace...
But instead of working with me with this plan, he left the house. He's not longer talking to me, he's not picking up my calls. He's mad at me for sending the message to his people.. He doesn't even want to listen to me, calling me all sort of terrible names for doing this. That am wicked for doing this ..
I have tried to explain to him through SMS that it's because I wanted the family to accept me and love me like a sister .. I thought I could use this to bring the family together but it turns out to be the opposite..
I need sisterly advice please ma. Thank you.

Madam, it is very childish and immature for you to beg for acceptance, and your approach was at best very very weak to achieve the very purpose that you desired in your marriage. 
If your husband never rejected you, pursued you, abused you and humiliated you in your marriage, why where you so much bent on winning his family by playing pranks and soliciting for unnecessary affection?
There are some families that will accept their in-laws with time and as the marriage deepens. There are some families that you don't need to explain your presence in their lives because they simply won't appreciate that nor will they accept your personality no matter what you do. 
There are some who feels that if you are not from their region, town, community, tribe and tongue, then there's nothing good about you. So you don't sincerely need to win their affection because that's actually not your greatest need. 
All you owe your in-laws is respect and courtesy, if they appreciate you or accept your personality, that's lovely and beautiful for your marriage but if they have some resentment and reservations about your personality, all you need to do is pursue goodness with all men and ignore their attitude. 
Simply plead with your husband for forgiveness because what you did was in all sincerity unacceptable and insulting to his personality. You made him appear as a confused, and irresponsible man because your message portrayed you as the boss of your marriage and perhaps he's receiving some hurting comments as a result of the message. 
Please don't in your bid to be accepted by the family end up losing your husband and marriage. Look for him and apologise for your oversight in sending the message so that both of you can resolve this impasse and reunite together with him. 
Your sole responsibility and devotion is to your husband and children alone, every other person can be considered later.


  1. Such a childish act.better go back to your home and hubby before it's too late. Acceptance koo,love nee.

  2. Such a childish act.better go back to your home and hubby before it's too late. Acceptance koo,love nee.


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