Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Feel like Quitting the Marriage!

Good day Aunty Amara, please help me out. I am married with two sons and love my husband so much and he does too. He gives me everything I need.
But I just found out he is using his mother as his next of kin even after I had our first son. And he is aware he is my next of kin in virtually all my accounts and job status. He places his siblings and mother above me and his kids though.
I also found out recently that he has been cheating on me since last year. When I confronted him with it, he denied it. I love him so much and right now am almost going to pull out of the marriage because of insecurity and lack of trust. He now has passwords for his phones so I don't access it any more.
Please advice me on what to do. God bless you.

Legally, a next of kin doesn't translate into a benefactor of a man's wealth or properties, so for the fact that he used his mother as his next of kin doesn't necessarily mean that his mother will be the benefactor to his properties or inheritance, unless he specified such in his will. 
However, his attitude suggests that he doesn't really value you or your children as much as he respects his mother and his siblings. 
Will confronting him really make him to change his mind and include his children or you in his next of kin? Wouldn't that be like pushing him to do what he never wanted to do? 
He may be in love with you but he might be afraid of entrusting so much to you or your children for reasons best known to him. 
There's a need for you to talk to him and express your concerns about that, but don't allow this to disturb your heart. Instead this should motivate you to start some savings and investments for your children and your own future. 
For the fact that you no longer have access to his phone doesn't mean that he's cheating on you or that you should leave your nascent marriage. 
You can decide to ignore some of these things and choose the noble path of praying for your husband and your family. Instead of struggling to change him, force him to do your bidding, or get mad at him over his decision at the detriment of your marriage, please entrust everything to God in prayers, support him, love him and give your heart to build up a lovely, peaceful and a united home.
I'm hopeful that someday your husband will understand the importance of his family and learn to appreciate his family much more than he's currently doing.


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  2. I totally agree with you Amara. My advice; be positive, give your husband the respect he deserves. Most times a woman who doesn't respect or regard her husband is left out in what her husband does. If you threaten him with going away with half of his possession after divorce, he can never trust you.

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