Friday, June 24, 2016

I'm Sick and Tired of Waiting!

Good morning Mrs Van-Lare, thank you for the opportunity to talk to you. I just read where you told someone to be patient, hopeful, positive and honest with her expectations. Does same apply to me?
Am 24 years old and a registered Nurse and currently doing a post basic course to enable me get a better job. I have never had a serious man for a relationship. Responsible ones I have met is either a student or is obviously not ready to settle down. But I want to get married.
I currently have a suitor who is not a graduate but has a small business he is managing. He is good looking and his mother is a good person. But that is not all I expect. I have never thought of getting married to a man who didn't go to school.
On the other hand, I thought of suggesting ideas that will help his business, but I just found out he is bossy. Of course I know his bossy nature will make my suggestions unacceptable.
What do I do? To continue to pray to God and be patient with my honest expectations? To let my suitor go? What if he was the man meant for me? To continue to defer hope of getting married at my present age which makes my heart sick?

When you allow anything to put you under perpetual pressure or torture, you are most likely to make a decision that you will regret much later in life.
I am personally not against your heart desire to get married at your age but one thing I can tell you is that you have allowed your age to put so much pressure on you in such a manner that you are emotionally sick because you don't have a man you can call your own at your age.
Age is nothing, impact is what matters. Wedding is nothing, building solid marriage is what matters most. The reason why I won't encourage you to settle for any man is because there are some weaknesses, some personality disorders, some perceptions, some attitude and some attributes of an individual that you cannot cope with and accepting any man will only drain out every atom of love and affection that you had for him and leave you with many regrets.
This is why you must let go of the fantasies that you got from a romantic novel or from your friends and ask yourself some sincere questions, which was what I meant when I said that you should be honest with your expectations.
Let's take your partner for example, can you cope with a bossy husband who will never take your suggestions, opinions and views for the rest of your life with him? Do you know that it's actually an abuse for you to be married to an individual who doesn't believe that there is anything good about you except your body?
If you were expecting to marry a graduate and because of your desire to answer 'Mrs' decided to go ahead with him, hope that you won't someday insult or abuse him for not getting a certificate.
Today he's making a honest living and you are working hard to get something better for yourself. In a situation where you now earn higher than he does, hope you will be humble enough to support your husband with your salary without feeling like he got married to you because he wanted your money.
So tell me, how happy will you be if you end up getting married at the age you desired but got married to the wrong partner?
When you weigh the present temporary circumstances of your journey and compare it with the probable permanent outcome of your decision, it's wiser not to be in a haste but surrender everything to God and allow him to perfect that which he has already promised.
I pray that God will change your status but beyond that I pray that God will bless you with a man that will make you feel loved, appreciated, cherished and proud to experience humanity with him.


  1. It is better to follow your heart desire . We can be friends , reach me on 07014365731.

  2. After getting married,then what?

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    *1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
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    *5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    *6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    *10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
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    *12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang

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  3. 24 years only n u r under intense pressure sweetie. Calm down n make wise decision Co's u r still young to b under such pressure. But if u get a man u love, y not. My opinion

  4. 24 years only n u r under intense pressure sweetie. Calm down n make wise decision Co's u r still young to b under such pressure. But if u get a man u love, y not. My opinion


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