Friday, June 24, 2016

He Batters Me.

Aunty Amara, I must give you credit for what you are doing here. It's not easy. More grease to your elbow.

Am a victim of domestic violence and am still into it but my problem is no where to run to(am an orphan and my siblings... In fact let me leave that one).

My marriage is not up to a year now but the kind of beating am getting from my hubby is terrible but I seriously thank God that chose to keep me alive.

My hubby married me and took me to his base(outside Nigeria) and that country is not English speaking country of which am still battling to learn it(hence, my hubby that speaks it fluently is not even ready to teach me rather he uses it against me). If I should send you the pictures of injuries he has given me, you won't believe it and I chose to hide those pictures in my phone for future evidence/reference. We dated for a year before he travelled, then came back for the marriage.

The worst part of it is that his immediate elder brother that has his own wife is beating me too in front of my hubby and he keeps quiet. Am a holder in Medical Laboratory Science in Nigeria.

Upon the fact that I use my bare hands to wash his clothes(though the washing machine spoilt like two months now), cook and give him food as at when due, keep everywhere tidy, in fact I do every domestic chores as a wife but he doesn't appreciate it. I saw some posts some weeks ago on a wife washing clothes for her hubby, I saw people's comments and started shedding tears(because I do that for him but no appreciation). Meanwhile, he has not even bothered to repair de washing machine or buy new one(but that's never my problem because I use the washing and watching movies to pass time since am not doing anything)

I have severally asked him to get me a job in any English speaking department but he refused(his only reason is that am too pretty, that men will snatch me from him) that makes me a housewife and a punching bag.

Although, I have my bad sides likewise every other person but the brutal/massacre beating am getting can't be compared with it.

It's not as if I can't call the police  to come and arrest him but my biggest problem is how do I communicate to them(language barrier)

My question is that: should I leave him and run for my dear life(which I don't even know where to go) or wait patiently till we come back to Nigeria?

Please don't wait any longer, don't put your life on the line by waiting till you come back to Nigeria.
You need to be alive first, before you can work on your marriage or anything that could be responsible for this abuse.
I personally won't encourage you to stay a second longer because I have no idea what the devil is plotting to do in the next second.
I mean, it's madness for your husband to beat you and absolute wickedness for his brother to also batter you and nothing is done about it.
That you are an orphan doesn't mean that you don't have a family, kindred, relatives, and law that can protect you from this horrible torture in the name of marriage.
When you find yourself gasping for breath, please flee for safety using any means available to you, because life is a gift from God, and you are the best person to protect yourself and save yourself from danger and death.
When you are back to Nigeria, you can report to the social welfare and present your evidences to them so that they can bring him to book and at the same time separate yourself from him pending when he has taken an undertaken never to lay his hands on you.


  1. Thank you very much madam Amara for your advice. I have little to contribute to the advice she has given you.... since you are outside Nigeria and running to Nigeria may be difficult as I doubt is you have any money for flight ticket. I suggest you search for Nigeria embassy any wat you are and report yourself there. they will be of great importance to you. They can even assist you in arresting your husband in that country since language is a great barrier to you. The earlier you do this, the better. Thank you

  2. You can get the authority of the country to help you, language is not a problem because they will get someone that speaks English to do the translation.

  3. You can get the authority of the country to help you, language is not a problem because they will get someone that speaks English to do the translation.

  4. Awwwwww! I had goose bump after reading this.I go wt Anty Amara #tears#

  5. Just like every other person have said, I think going the Nigeria embassy over there is the best thing to do

  6. Anyway, you have only told your side of the story. I wish the man will tell his side. Women lie a lot and they exaggerate a lot. Some women are impossible to live with, some men too. It's only a deranged or demon possessed man that can turn a nice woman into a punching bag. But When a human being behaves like an animal, then animalistic treatment will be her portion

    1. There is no justification for woman battering...

    2. There is no justification what so ever to batter a woman... If you are doing so, u had better work on yourself...

  7. @ Uzoma, I hope u married an angel and raise ur daughters as angel, if not, I'm sorry for them. A MAN has absolutely no right to raise his hands on his wife. Some people think like animals n talk like animals, but Amara is yet to stop them from commenting

  8. If you are located in Europe or another democratic country, you should alert this to the police where you are and get help emedately.

  9. Chika uzoma, u are a very big fool.

  10. My dear go to d police even if u can't speak their language.....present your evidence which is the pictures on your phone. Because I be alive that even a deaf and dump person can comprehend that

  11. @ Uzoma,u are a disgrace to your mother.


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