Tuesday, July 12, 2016

My Fiancé Doesn't Compliment my Body.

Good day Aunty Amara, please I need your advice. Am dark, slim and engaged lady. My fiancé loves me soo much, he can do anything for me but my fiancé sees beauty as being fair in complexion because whenever we are discussing he always describes fair ladies as beautiful and that makes me feel that maybe he wished am fair, and he hates bleaching because I jokingly asked him if he will still love me if I bleached....LOL!!! And he said I should never ever try it.
He also keeps telling me I need to add weight even though he sometimes says he knows I will add when I start having kids, and all these makes me wonder if I can live with a man who can't love me the way I am. What if I don't add weight during and after child birth?? He has a potbelly and a big head but I love him the way he is so why can't he do same??
He is faithful but I always have this fear that he might cheat on me with a fair lady since all fair ladies are beautiful!!! He always tells me he loves me and he has never seen any woman with such a good heart and he respects me too because I told him I want to wait before we have sex.. What should I do?? We have been together for a year and half. I have a lot of suitors coming, should I continue with him or should I just leave him because I don't feel good about myself with him and he doesn't like complimenting me and I love compliments but I feel he doesn't compliment me because he doesn't see me as beautiful.
Sorry for the long write up..... Thank you.

What we are dealing with looks funny and irrelevant but it is actually a very sensitive and delicate issue that if ignored may crush your marriage and destroy your self esteem and confidence. 
God designed different shades, shapes, sizes and colours of ladies so that a man can search, seek, sieve, and scrutinise so that he can verify, analyse, appreciate and select the particular spec of body that he cherish and his heart rejoices with for the rest of his life. 
While ladies don't see any difference in their bodies, men can tell better that a big breast and a small breast isn't the same in appearance.. Lol 
So if the man who engaged you doesn't appreciate your own spec, it's actually not a funny issue because over time you will become the shadow of your own imagination. 
Compliments look good on ladies especially when it comes from that special someone who truly appreciate you without any reservation. 
So you must open your mouth and voice out your pains and struggles with his attitude towards you. He can't be with you and be telling you about fair ladies(that's racism lol), or be with you and be comparing the fat content of your body with the fat content of others(if only men knew that it's all fat.. Lol) 
Let him know how you feel, let him know that if he can't compliment you, if he can't settle it in his heart that you can never be fair, not even with a bleach, if he can't celebrate you and always talk about you just as he talks about fair ladies, that it doesn't make sense whatever the good heart he saw that made him give you the metal object he called engagement ring. 
If he doesn't appreciate what he has, why not go for what he want and allow you to marry a man who is craving for dark ladies like chocolate. 
The challenge of his attitude is that he'll be vulnerable to temptation from fair ladies, there will be a huge distraction whenever he meets with fair ladies, whether driving or walking.
The other challenge is that you will lose your self esteem and confidence and then feel that your complexion is not good enough or that your skin is not attractive enough for him. This will push you into doing some stupid stuff like bleaching and eating unhealthy food to impress your husband. 
What you need is a man who will accept you as you are and appreciate you for who you are, and not one who indirectly compares you with others and make you feel less of yourself. 
If he continues with his attitude of analysing fair ladies, it will be in your best interest to return that object with no affection to him and avoid what will be a competition to impress your husband. 


  1. Lady Amara, are you saying that the man is a racist?
    I have my own spec of ladies and I go all out for that which I am contended with. Thank God, I have found one that will last forever.

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