Tuesday, July 12, 2016

He Lies to Me in a Million Ways.

Good day ma please ma I need your help. I have been dating this guy since 2014, didn't know he was engaged to a girl. Many times I have asked him who this girl is, he will always say that she is a girl he was dating before he met me, but that the relationship was not going down well.
He do lock every social media in his phone, early this year I tried opening his WhatsApp chat and I saw his chat with the same girl where he was begging her to hold on for him, that did she think that he's happy not married to her yet?
Because he lost his job early this year, but I have asked him repeatedly if he has engaged or been serious with any girl, he will say no. When I saw that chat, I was so upset because he lied to me a million times.
When I asked him about the engagement, he couldn't say a word, I left a house. After a week he called me forming serious that he has broken up with her, that right from the first day he engaged her there has been problems, that the chat I saw, he was trying to settle their problems but it didn't work out. If I will be happy with him, he will love to have serious relationship with me.
After a month when he was seriously coming, I accepted him, things started moving no well. I have been hundred percent faithful but since last week he started locking his social media again. Yesterday night when he came back he dropped his phone, I checked and opened the phone. My mind told me the password, again I saw a chat he has been chatting with this new girl, telling her how much he love and will want them to start a serious relationship. I asked him about the chat, he only said that was only a chat. Since yesterday we have not talked.
Ma please remember when he came back, he asked me to do away with a guy that want me seriously, that he is back for real, that he doesn't want to double date.
Please ma what will I do? Just tell me the best thing to do.

I wish I could tell you what to do but you are in a better position to evaluate this from your own point of need and then decide if he's truly what you desire and deserve or you're being deceived by his promises.
I will help you highlight the missing link in your relationship and point out the red flags that has the potential to make your life and marriage miserable.
You are dating a flirt, and one of the characteristics of flirts is that they deal with lies and term everything they do as harmless and unimportant.
They can get married to you with their word of mouth and will continue singing a love song to you as long as you are dancing to their tune, but it doesn't stop them from catching fun and experimenting with other ladies.
For flights, infidelity is just like changing their boxers, there's no harm in it and they don't expect you to be worried about that.
Because their lies are unpredictable, you actually can't tell who he will get married to because sometimes the game end up not as they planned it. A lady may get pregnant for him and that will push him to marry the said lady.
So anyone who trusts a flirt must be prepared for anything, and I mean anything.
If you were already married to him, will you really be happy to find out that he's dating many other ladies or 'harmlessly' chatting with them? If you were married, will you have the capacity to cope with his lies and manipulations? Will you be happy to always check his phone and then find out that there's another lady in the picture?
If you are not comfortable with what you are seeing in your two years old relationship, it won't be advisable for you to continue with him as that will be setting yourself up for misery.
Instead of getting married to a man who will make you a prayer warrior against infidelity, I will rather suggest that you get it right as you choose your partner so that you will become a praise warrior and a grateful woman all the days of your life.

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