Monday, July 11, 2016

My Husband Nags at Everything I Do.

Good afternoon ma and happy holidays AVL fans.....I need an advice ma.. How do I make my hubby understand that I'm not my mum, she might have made errors while training me and my siblings but I hate when my hubby keeps referring to me as my mum, he keeps nagging about how my mum didn't give me proper training and how he knows and is convinced that I'd never change and I'm going to raise wrong kids and all sorts of hurting words,...
He gets angry at any little thing and then starts narrating all and what am not doing well despite the efforts I'm making and he calls me weak and act as a child. This constant complaints and insults makes me feel I may never please him and makes me have doubts about myself, .
I have always admired and wanted a happy family with God fearing and obedient kids.. Each time I try to talk to him or have a conversation or even tell him how I feel, it turns to an argument and rain of more insults.
Just last night he called me stupid and can't take control of my home. Sometimes I just keep to myself even when he asks me why I'm putting up attitude or having mood swings because I feel it's not necessary answering. I had my second son about a month ago and there are guests staying in the house and my mum as well but he yells at me not minding who is listening. This attitude of his pains me..
What do I do about this..... Thank you

I will suggest that you look for an elder, experienced and mature married man or lady who will be fair and honest to your husband and someone who your husband greatly respect and confide in him or her.
The person will then make out time to talk to your husband and address the issue of verbally abusing and destroying your esteem as an individual.
Where that is not feasible for you, kindly consider booking for a counselling session with your husband so that both of you can open up and discuss the issues confronting your marriage.
You gave a description of a perfect man who constantly picks on the errors and shortcomings of others and the painful part is that no matter what you say or do, he will still feel that you cannot change or be better because he doesn't believe that you can ever be better.
So he needs someone who has a greater influence on his life to talk to him and address his own shortcomings.
Until then, avoid anything that will trigger such insults and abuses. Decide within your heart never to accept any negative criticisms from him or anyone else. If he doesn't see anything good in you, please appreciate the good things in your life and work on your weaknesses.
Be positive, study the word of God, read inspirational and motivational books, dance, sing, be happy and celebrate your life and your journey.
You have all it takes to drive out all the negative energy in your system and give your best in your marriage.
Don't let the negativity of your husband push you into depression and worries but conquer them by confessing positively to your life and improving daily on yourself.
Someday somehow he will look back and realise that you are no longer worried by his tantrums and verbal abuse.

1 comment:

  1. I have similar issues with my husband...he will be the last person to complement me when I do something good but he notices every thing he thinks I did the beginning I was becoming very depressed about it and when I ask him y he treats me like that in marriage contrary to how he did when we were courting,he will reply and I quote when you throw a worm to catch a fish,do u still give the fish worm after catching it.....I had to build a wall around my heart to stop it from affecting me so much....The best thing that has happened to me in this marriage is my son


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